As I look back over my life, certain moments come to mind, moments when a spiritual light has come on. I will try to remember and tell you about some of these times.
After Elisa’s death I was sitting in a church pew with my in-laws and Erica. I was emptied and going through the motions of living. We were in a fog. I was open and searching for meaning, understanding, comfort, and direction. I only remember one thing from the sermon that day. God, through the pastor, told me that Faith is a gift. I was given an awareness of the truth that my faith does not depend on what I do; Faith is a gift given to me by God. My part was to believe and receive.
Ephesians 2: 8-10 says, “God saved you by His special favor when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so that we can do the good things He planned for us long ago”.
Not too long after that Sunday, Erica and I started going to church with my parents. It was the church I had attended as a teenager, and where Richard and I were married. Pastor Meck helped me through some very hard times. In one of his Sunday sermons, he used John 15 as his text. In it I was told that God abides in me and I abide in Him. The word became alive in my heart and I knew it to be true. It is the Scripture about the vine and the branches. Jesus is the life bearing vine. As a believer, I am a living branch and I will bear fruit because I abide in Him.
John 15: 4 says, “Abide in Me and I will abide in you. Neither can you bear fruit unless you abide in Me”.
During our first Christmas without Elisa, we had to change how we celebrated to somehow try to ease the pain which we were feeling. We decided to take our camper out west. We would spend Christmas with Richard’s family in Oklahoma and then go on to Texas, Arizona, New Mexico, and Colorado. One night, at a campsite, unable to sleep, I was reading my Bible. I can see the moment and visualize where I was sitting. In John 12, Jesus spoke of his coming death as the fulfillment of his purpose when He would receive great glory. He said, “the truth is, a kernel of wheat must be planted in the soil. Unless it dies, it will be alone, -a single seed. But its death will produce many new kernels - a plentiful harvest of new lives. God had a plan for His son’s life and I knew that He also had a plan for my life and Elisa’s short life. He spoke to my heart through His word. I still didn’t understand but I knew that I would trust Him.
On New Years Eve, during that trip, we were the only camper at a campsite in New Mexico. It was a cool but clear night with a full moon. As Erica and I stepped outside, I looked up into the night sky. I have never seen any thing like it before or since. The full moon was surrounded by a circular rainbow. I knew that it was a glimpse of God’s presence in our lives and He was telling me that everything was going to be OK. We were suffering but I knew that He was aware and was walking the journey with us
I will continue to reflect on my AHA!!! moments, and the glimpses of God’s presence in my life. I will share these thoughts and memories with you in my upcoming Blogs.
Thank you for joining me in my journey of spiritual insight and growth.
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