Who matters the most to me? The answer to this question expresses who I am, what my priorities are, and how I live my life. My God and my family matter the most to me. Because they matter the most to me, they mean the most to me. My relationship with God and my relationship with all of the people I love predominate my thoughts and actions. The love of God and family give order to my life. God gives my life direction and purpose as His love flows through me into the lives of others. I am grateful to God for all of the material things which Richie and I have worked for and acquired but possessions are temporary. “Stuff” does not make one happy. The “Abundant Life” is so much more than goods and wealth. Happiness and joy are internal even when external circumstances seem to be crushing one from the outside. Life happens. I choose how I want to react to my circumstances. God is present with me in the good times and the bad. I love Him unconditionally because He loved me first. I choose to love my family unconditionally. We cannot stop loving each other when we disappoint or hurt each other. My life is abundant because I believe the words of Christ who tells me in John 10:10, “I am come that they might have life and that they might have it more abundantly”. Jesus is the Good Shepherd and His purpose is to give life, in all of its fullness, to His sheep. We, as believers, are His sheep. My Shepherd means the most to me. I want those I love to know The Shepherd and to experience His promised abundant life.
Sunday, October 14, 2012
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Reflecting and Reminiscing
Richard and I celebrated our 48th Wedding Anniversary yesterday, September 25. We were married in 1964. As I went through the day, many memories flooded my mind. It sure is a long time! I am so very grateful for every year and every moment which we have passed through this time together.
Richie noticed me in the eleventh grade in physics class at Walt Whitman High School. He has since told me that he went home from school that day and announced to his mother that he had seen the girl that he was going to marry. There is one thing about Richie, when he sets his mind on anything, he usually makes it happen. Our marriage is living proof!
For nine years we lived over the garage at Aunt Carrie and Uncle Albert’s house in West Hempstead. We had two tiny bedrooms, a living room, bathroom, and an alley kitchen on the lower level behind the entrance into the garage. We had two wonderful landlords and lived on a beautiful piece of property. We did a lot of traveling and life was good. Richie worked as a superintendent for an Acoustical Ceiling and Lathing Company and I worked as a nurse at Syosset Hospital on Pediatrics and then the Recovery Room.
Before marriage Richie said, “Anna, I don’t know where my career or life will lead us but I want you to promise that you will always be behind my decisions to try something new or support me when I choose to take risks”. The wheels of Richie’s mind are always turning and I have always been at his side encouraging and helping him. Early on in our 48 years we owned Black Angus Cattle as an investment. We would travel to Virginia to see our herd of cattle. I felt like I was working to pay for and feed cows. It became a forced savings and when we sold the herd we had enough money to make a down payment on a home. Richie became Superintendent at Melen Construction Company when he was 25 years old, bypassing many with more experience and years in the business. We bought a beautiful piece of property with a little cottage on it in Dix Hills in 1972. Richie always thinks “Big”. He would build our house, and that he did! It was a labor of love and much hard work. It is a beautiful home, a lasting monument to a very talented and dedicated man.
By the time we moved to Huntington we had two babies. Elisa Lynn was born on May 11, 1970 and Erica Gayle was born on October 22, 1972. We moved to Dix Hills in January 1974. Richie was a one man construction team. We were always in the middle of some project. He is a perfectionist almost to a fault. I would have been happy just to complete a job but when things have to be done perfectly they take much longer. Working in NYC and building a house on weekends and evenings is no easy task but he, or should I say we, did it.
In 1975 a friend in the lawn business gifted us with our lawn. This led to the next adventure in our lives. Richie decided to go into the lawn business part time in addition to working in NYC, and finishing our home. That became a full time business in 1978. Leisure Lawns Inc. of Long Island is another legacy of Richie’s and is still a thriving business in Huntington. After selling Leisure Lawns in 1985 Richie established C.H.Jones, a kitchen cabinet business which he operated for the next 10 years. At that point he returned to construction in NYC for ten years before retiring in 2005.
1979 to 1983 were sad and difficult years for our family. Elisa died one month after her 9th birthday. Our third daughter, Carrie Marlene was born on our 16th wedding anniversary, September 25, 1980, but only lived for two weeks. Richie was back and forth with her in the neonatal ICU at Meadowbrook Hospital while I was recovering from an emergency C-Section at Central General Hospital. During those years I also had two miscarriages. Joy returned to Richie, Erica, and I when our fourth daughter, Christa Grace, was born on May 25, 1983. God’s grace restored our lives and helped us to move on.
Fast forward to September 25, 2012; Erica and Christa have both graduated from Muhlenberg College in Allentown PA. They are married and both have homes in Pennsylvania. Erica and Trevor have given us two wonderful grandsons, Trevor and Hunter. Christa and Kris recently gave us our third grandson, sweet, happy little Harrison. Each family has given us Golden Doodle grand-dogs, Tyler and Buddy. I cannot fail to mention our own little family of pets: Molly, Suki, and Saki, a 10 year old Black Lab and two cats who had their first birthday yesterday on our 48th wedding anniversary.
I retired from Huntington Hospital in 2008 where I had worked as an Oncology Nurse since 1991. We bought our home in the Florida Keys in 1991 and now spend most of our year in Florida. When we sold our home in Dix Hills we bought a little home in Pennsylvania to be near our children and grandchildren during parts of each year.. After retiring we took a wonderful trip back to beautiful Norway where we visited family and cruised up Norway’s west coast through the fjords. On a second trip we went to Santorini and Italy. We are in Florida now and will return to PA before Christmas for the Holidays.
I was listening to the stereo today as I was reminiscing through the past. The words of a song “Would You”, sung by George Beverley Shea made me think more deeply about all we have been through during these 48 years. The words are as follows:
Would you cherish loving arms, if you never shed a tear?
Would you welcome going home, if you’d never been away?
Would you treasure guiding hands, if you’d never been alone?
Would you value having hope, if you’d never known despair?
Would you treasure being safe, if you’d never lost your way?
Would you cherish gentle words, if you’d never been afraid?
I don’t think so, I don’t think so, I really don’t think so.
We have been blessed with 48 years of marriage; our vows and commitments to each other have never waivered. We will always remain strong for each other and for our family. We have worked hard and weathered the storms of life together. When one of us is weak, the other has to remain strong. This we will keep on doing. God’s presence is in us and around us preparing us for all that lies ahead.
Reflecting on our past helps to give us strength and hope for the future. My challenge to family and friends, whether young or old, is to reflect on your own life and spiritual journey so that you can decide to grow and move forward in your love for and walk with God. As we honor God, He honors and blesses us. “To God be the Glory”!
Richie noticed me in the eleventh grade in physics class at Walt Whitman High School. He has since told me that he went home from school that day and announced to his mother that he had seen the girl that he was going to marry. There is one thing about Richie, when he sets his mind on anything, he usually makes it happen. Our marriage is living proof!
For nine years we lived over the garage at Aunt Carrie and Uncle Albert’s house in West Hempstead. We had two tiny bedrooms, a living room, bathroom, and an alley kitchen on the lower level behind the entrance into the garage. We had two wonderful landlords and lived on a beautiful piece of property. We did a lot of traveling and life was good. Richie worked as a superintendent for an Acoustical Ceiling and Lathing Company and I worked as a nurse at Syosset Hospital on Pediatrics and then the Recovery Room.
Before marriage Richie said, “Anna, I don’t know where my career or life will lead us but I want you to promise that you will always be behind my decisions to try something new or support me when I choose to take risks”. The wheels of Richie’s mind are always turning and I have always been at his side encouraging and helping him. Early on in our 48 years we owned Black Angus Cattle as an investment. We would travel to Virginia to see our herd of cattle. I felt like I was working to pay for and feed cows. It became a forced savings and when we sold the herd we had enough money to make a down payment on a home. Richie became Superintendent at Melen Construction Company when he was 25 years old, bypassing many with more experience and years in the business. We bought a beautiful piece of property with a little cottage on it in Dix Hills in 1972. Richie always thinks “Big”. He would build our house, and that he did! It was a labor of love and much hard work. It is a beautiful home, a lasting monument to a very talented and dedicated man.
By the time we moved to Huntington we had two babies. Elisa Lynn was born on May 11, 1970 and Erica Gayle was born on October 22, 1972. We moved to Dix Hills in January 1974. Richie was a one man construction team. We were always in the middle of some project. He is a perfectionist almost to a fault. I would have been happy just to complete a job but when things have to be done perfectly they take much longer. Working in NYC and building a house on weekends and evenings is no easy task but he, or should I say we, did it.
In 1975 a friend in the lawn business gifted us with our lawn. This led to the next adventure in our lives. Richie decided to go into the lawn business part time in addition to working in NYC, and finishing our home. That became a full time business in 1978. Leisure Lawns Inc. of Long Island is another legacy of Richie’s and is still a thriving business in Huntington. After selling Leisure Lawns in 1985 Richie established C.H.Jones, a kitchen cabinet business which he operated for the next 10 years. At that point he returned to construction in NYC for ten years before retiring in 2005.
1979 to 1983 were sad and difficult years for our family. Elisa died one month after her 9th birthday. Our third daughter, Carrie Marlene was born on our 16th wedding anniversary, September 25, 1980, but only lived for two weeks. Richie was back and forth with her in the neonatal ICU at Meadowbrook Hospital while I was recovering from an emergency C-Section at Central General Hospital. During those years I also had two miscarriages. Joy returned to Richie, Erica, and I when our fourth daughter, Christa Grace, was born on May 25, 1983. God’s grace restored our lives and helped us to move on.
Fast forward to September 25, 2012; Erica and Christa have both graduated from Muhlenberg College in Allentown PA. They are married and both have homes in Pennsylvania. Erica and Trevor have given us two wonderful grandsons, Trevor and Hunter. Christa and Kris recently gave us our third grandson, sweet, happy little Harrison. Each family has given us Golden Doodle grand-dogs, Tyler and Buddy. I cannot fail to mention our own little family of pets: Molly, Suki, and Saki, a 10 year old Black Lab and two cats who had their first birthday yesterday on our 48th wedding anniversary.
I retired from Huntington Hospital in 2008 where I had worked as an Oncology Nurse since 1991. We bought our home in the Florida Keys in 1991 and now spend most of our year in Florida. When we sold our home in Dix Hills we bought a little home in Pennsylvania to be near our children and grandchildren during parts of each year.. After retiring we took a wonderful trip back to beautiful Norway where we visited family and cruised up Norway’s west coast through the fjords. On a second trip we went to Santorini and Italy. We are in Florida now and will return to PA before Christmas for the Holidays.
I was listening to the stereo today as I was reminiscing through the past. The words of a song “Would You”, sung by George Beverley Shea made me think more deeply about all we have been through during these 48 years. The words are as follows:
Would you cherish loving arms, if you never shed a tear?
Would you welcome going home, if you’d never been away?
Would you treasure guiding hands, if you’d never been alone?
Would you value having hope, if you’d never known despair?
Would you treasure being safe, if you’d never lost your way?
Would you cherish gentle words, if you’d never been afraid?
I don’t think so, I don’t think so, I really don’t think so.
We have been blessed with 48 years of marriage; our vows and commitments to each other have never waivered. We will always remain strong for each other and for our family. We have worked hard and weathered the storms of life together. When one of us is weak, the other has to remain strong. This we will keep on doing. God’s presence is in us and around us preparing us for all that lies ahead.
Reflecting on our past helps to give us strength and hope for the future. My challenge to family and friends, whether young or old, is to reflect on your own life and spiritual journey so that you can decide to grow and move forward in your love for and walk with God. As we honor God, He honors and blesses us. “To God be the Glory”!
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
"Doing the Word"
No one can talk me out of living for God. My house, God’s Temple, is built on the “Rock”. God is ever present in my life. Upon receiving Christ, and experiencing Him as my Savior, my journey only moves forward, never backwards. We all go through stages of spiritual growth. These stages can be slow, rapid, or even at times stagnant but in my experience, not reversed. I believe that a person can stop growing, or never grow at all in their spiritual realm. I believe in the assurance of Eternal Salvation. Salvation was the beginning of my spiritual journey. I have encountered God and have experienced true change and spiritual growth in my life. My faith grows as I hear and study the word of God. “Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God” (Romans10:17). For me, without God, life has no meaning. Recently, a fortune cookie read, “man’s mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains it’s original dimensions”. I believe it is the same for a growing spiritual understanding. Increased knowledge of God and His word stretch our spiritual dimensions, our faith, our experiences, and our witness to others.
"Doing the Word" opens the door to Blessings. Being disobedient, or not doing the word, closes the doors of Blessing and Favor in my life. God, through His Word, has shown me, taught me, disciplined me, and blessed me as I travel my journey. God’s discipline proves His love in the same way a parent’s discipline proves the parent’s love in a child’s life. Hebrew 12:5-7 says, “My child, don’t ignore it when the Lord disciplines you, and don’t be discouraged when He corrects you. For the Lord disciplines those He loves, and He punishes those He accepts as His children. As you endure this divine discipline, remember that God is treating you as his own children”.
I am God’s child. I have chosen to believe God and His Word. I pray for increased boldness in my faith so that I do not disappoint my Father. I want never to come off as being self righteous. I am not righteous in and of myself. I am not religious. I have a relationship with the one and only Living God. “None are righteous, no not one” (Romans 3:10). God sees the believer through the righteousness of His Son, Jesus Christ. The scriptures therefore can call the believer righteous as seen in (Psalm 34:19) “Many are the afflictions of the righteous” and in (James 5:6) “The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much”. Jesus Christ is our righteousness. He is the filter between God and the believer. God is in heaven, we are on earth, and Christ is in between heaven and earth filtering our unrighteousness with His perfect righteousness. In humility and gratitude, I receive Christ, His forgiveness, and His righteousness.
Walking in God’s will, pleases God and blesses me. I live and walk in God’s favor and blessings by being obedient, by “doing the word”. The Blessing is knowing God, knowing what the Word says, and following His way in obedience. The Word tells me about God’s nature, God’s promises, God’s plan of Salvation, God’s love, God’s commands, God’s will, and God’s direction for my life. All scripture is inspired by God and is meant to teach, correct, prepare, and equip us for daily living (2Timothy 3:16). I will remain faithful and share my love and faith with others. God wants me to pass on His Word, Love, and Blessings. This Blog is one way in which I can.
I want to experience peace and right living as I walk my path; a path lighted by God and the Word. I will keep my eyes on Jesus and my eyes on His Word. I will live in obedience and in the light, not disobedience and darkness. I will walk in love by loving God and my neighbor as I travel life’s journey. I will reap God’s Blessings as I sow by “doing the word”; by being obedient.
"Doing the Word" opens the door to Blessings. Being disobedient, or not doing the word, closes the doors of Blessing and Favor in my life. God, through His Word, has shown me, taught me, disciplined me, and blessed me as I travel my journey. God’s discipline proves His love in the same way a parent’s discipline proves the parent’s love in a child’s life. Hebrew 12:5-7 says, “My child, don’t ignore it when the Lord disciplines you, and don’t be discouraged when He corrects you. For the Lord disciplines those He loves, and He punishes those He accepts as His children. As you endure this divine discipline, remember that God is treating you as his own children”.
I am God’s child. I have chosen to believe God and His Word. I pray for increased boldness in my faith so that I do not disappoint my Father. I want never to come off as being self righteous. I am not righteous in and of myself. I am not religious. I have a relationship with the one and only Living God. “None are righteous, no not one” (Romans 3:10). God sees the believer through the righteousness of His Son, Jesus Christ. The scriptures therefore can call the believer righteous as seen in (Psalm 34:19) “Many are the afflictions of the righteous” and in (James 5:6) “The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much”. Jesus Christ is our righteousness. He is the filter between God and the believer. God is in heaven, we are on earth, and Christ is in between heaven and earth filtering our unrighteousness with His perfect righteousness. In humility and gratitude, I receive Christ, His forgiveness, and His righteousness.
Walking in God’s will, pleases God and blesses me. I live and walk in God’s favor and blessings by being obedient, by “doing the word”. The Blessing is knowing God, knowing what the Word says, and following His way in obedience. The Word tells me about God’s nature, God’s promises, God’s plan of Salvation, God’s love, God’s commands, God’s will, and God’s direction for my life. All scripture is inspired by God and is meant to teach, correct, prepare, and equip us for daily living (2Timothy 3:16). I will remain faithful and share my love and faith with others. God wants me to pass on His Word, Love, and Blessings. This Blog is one way in which I can.
I want to experience peace and right living as I walk my path; a path lighted by God and the Word. I will keep my eyes on Jesus and my eyes on His Word. I will live in obedience and in the light, not disobedience and darkness. I will walk in love by loving God and my neighbor as I travel life’s journey. I will reap God’s Blessings as I sow by “doing the word”; by being obedient.
Saturday, August 4, 2012
The Surprise of My Life
August 4, 2012 fell on a Saturday. I looked forward to this morning to sleep-in and to have a quiet “me” day. I had just finished a busy rewarding week in which I helped a wonderful group of Christians share our faith with about 180 children in Vacation Bible School. During the previous week, Erica and Trevor had returned from a two week trip to Shanghai, China. We had the privilege of caring for our grandsons, Trevor and Hunter. No sleep-in mornings during those two weeks! It is a very special joy for our grandchildren to be a part of our lives and for us to be a part of their lives.
Erica called and invited Richie and I over for dinner. Trevor’s brother Scott, Christine, and their baby were taking a trip to visit them from NY. I was excited to see the three of them, but especially to see Sebastian who is their miracle baby. He was born 3 months premature and will be celebrating his first birthday on September 10th. We were to be at Erica’s home at 3PM.
I did have my quiet morning and then decided to bake some banana muffins to bring with us for dessert. Richie gently reminded me that we should be on time because Trevor was barbequing and we couldn’t be late when food was being served.
We left on time and arrived at Erica and Trevor’s at 3:00. As we drove up their driveway I said, “The Barbeque isn’t on”. We noted Scott and Christine’s car in the driveway but commented that Scott’s motorcycle wasn’t in the garage. We had been told that he was going to trailer his bike to PA.
Richie followed me, banana muffins in hand, through the garage and into the door leading to the kitchen. There was a room full of people calling out “Surprise” and “Happy Birthday”. I cried for what seemed to be about 10 minutes as I realized the greetings were for me. I have since been reminded of some funny statements which I made through my tears of surprise and joy; “Didn’t you tell daddy about this?” (not knowing that he was the initiator and co-planner), “Richie!, you knew and you wore THAT shirt?”, “I can’t believe I didn’t have a clue, How could you plan all of this without me?”(I guess I’m not as necessary as I think I am), “I wanted a 60th Birthday Party, I never expected a 70th Birthday Party and my Birthday was in June, it’s August!”. My girls answered, “It is ten years and two months later than you had wanted; that makes it even more of a surprise!” They sure were right. My 70th Birthday Celebration was the Surprise of my life.
Surrounding me were Richie, Erica, Trevor, Christa, Kris, Trevor, Hunter, Harrison, Sebastian, Christine, and Scott. My sisters and their families; Marlene, Ken, Jane, Ron, Kendel, Matt, Dylan, Ryan, Amy, Bruce, Caitlin, Allison, Laura, John, Trevor, and Courtney were there to greet me. Our dear friends, Anna, Richie, Pat, Roger, Eleanor, and Marv completed the circle of special people in my life who were able to be with me on this extraordinary occasion.
I missed other family members who had other commitments on this day of celebration; Doug and Mary, Sean, Joyel and Sean and their families. All of my nieces and nephews and grandnieces and grandnephews are very special to me. I pray daily for God’s Blessings in their lives. My long time friends, Janet and Bob, called me from Nevada during the party. Bobby and Don from New Hampshire were unable to come to NY but as always, Bobby and I were on the same wave length and she said she was thinking about me all day long on Saturday. A gift and heartfelt greeting arrived from them on the Monday following the party. I thank each of them and others, unnamed, who were with us in thought and in spirit but were unable to be physically present on this memorable day in my life.
Words can’t express the gratitude in my heart to Richie and our girls, Erica and Christa, and their families for such an unexpected and amazing surprise birthday party. The food and gifts were wonderful but most appreciated was everyone being together in one place at one time. We talked, we laughed, we reminisced, and we celebrated the 70 years which God has given me. Marlene, Jane, Erica, and Christa, thank you for all the time which you spent to put together all of the picture memories for display. Jane, the album is wonderful. Marlene, my pink Queen’s crown, pink puffy sleeves, and pearled wand will be keepsakes to be passed on to you next year!
Psalm 100 is a psalm of Thanksgiving. I am so thankful for everything which God has given to me. He has given me an internal joy even during the sad times in my 70 years. Life is a physical and spiritual journey. My family and friends are each unique gifts to me. We are all a part of each other and of everyone who touches one’s life as we travel our individual journeys. My faith is a gift from God and it is the part of me which I want to pass on to my family and friends; to all whom I love. Psalm 100:3 says, “For the Lord is good. His unfailing love continues forever, and His faithfulness continues to each generation”. God has been so faithful to me and I love each one of you so very much.
Thank you, Lord. Thank you, family. Thank you, friends.
Sunday, June 10, 2012
Today is the First Day of the Rest of My Life
On this my 70th Birthday, I live in anticipation of God’s plan for the rest of my life. I am grateful for all of the years which I have been given thus far. I do live in an attitude of gratitude. I thank God for my faith, my family, my friends, my church families, my home, my pets, my retirement, countless blessings, and God’s favor in my life.
What is God’s will for my life? What is God’s purpose for my life? What are my passions? What are my plans forward?
Many years ago I asked God to show me if I was in His will. He answered me through Charles Stanley in a TV sermon. The televangelist pastor said that if I was seeking to be in God’s will and was questioning whether I was or not, I probably was in the place God wanted me to be at the time. I am an imperfect person, living in an imperfect world, seeking to know and to serve a perfect God. I believe that God, the creator, loves us, His creation, and has a plan and purpose for each of our lives.
Today in church Pastor Moore said that our quest is not as much to find God’s will as it is to know God’s will, because we know God. In John 10 we are told by Jesus, “My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me”. I know God; He is my shepherd. Because He knows me and I know Him, I want to follow Him. I want to be in His will. I want to know Him better tomorrow than I do today. Meeting God and receiving Him as our Savior is just the first step on our faith journey. God, through Christ, in the power of the Holy Spirit, is my Lord, my Friend, my Shepherd, and my Everything. God’s will for my life is that I will become all that He wants me to be. As I practice his presence by being prayerful, thankful, aware, quiet, and in search of Him, our relationship and my faith grow. God longs for his children to desire Him more than we desire the answers to our questions and prayers. As we seek Him, we will know Him and know His will. Seek Him first and then other things which we are asking for will be added or given unto us as is promised in Matthew 6:33.
God wants to heal our spirits first. A closer walk and personal relationship with God comes first. It will then be followed by the answers to our prayers. Our answered prayer might be a physical healing, a financial healing, a relational healing, or the supply of a material need. When we know God and the scriptures, our prayers will line up with what we know is God’s will for us according to His Word. We will know right from wrong and be able to discern God’s direction for our lives when we grow spiritually. In Hebrews 5:13,14, God tells us to mature in our faith. We must start eating the meat of the word because we have only been on the milk or the basic teachings of the word. We must increase in the knowledge of God and His written word. As our faith grows and matures we will know God. We will know His direction and know His will for our lives.
When we walk, we go forward one step at a time. God will light our path. His word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path (Psalm 119:105). I don’t want to know my future, I just want to know God and have an internal peace about where He is leading me. Romans 12:2 says, “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know what God wants you to do and you will know how good and pleasing and perfect His will really is”.
God’s will for me is to love Him and to love others. My passion is my faith and my family. My purpose is to live for Christ and to share my faith by how I live. I want others to see the fruits of the gifts of the Spirit in my life (Galatians 5:22). My family is my legacy and it is my continual prayer that they seek, meet, know, and love the Lord as they walk their individual spiritual journeys. Our journeys aren’t always comfortable and God never promised that our roads would be easy. One thing that I know is that I will never walk my road alone because God will never leave me or forsake me (Hebrews 13:5,6 and Deuteronomy 31:8). My plan, as I move forward, is to follow God’s requirement for me as found in Micah 6:8. I am to do what is right, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with my God.
In Jeremiah 29:11-14, God tells me, “For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me in earnest, you will find me when you seek me. I will be found by you, says the Lord”. I believe in the promises of God and I know that He has my future in His hands.
What is God’s will for my life? What is God’s purpose for my life? What are my passions? What are my plans forward?
Many years ago I asked God to show me if I was in His will. He answered me through Charles Stanley in a TV sermon. The televangelist pastor said that if I was seeking to be in God’s will and was questioning whether I was or not, I probably was in the place God wanted me to be at the time. I am an imperfect person, living in an imperfect world, seeking to know and to serve a perfect God. I believe that God, the creator, loves us, His creation, and has a plan and purpose for each of our lives.
Today in church Pastor Moore said that our quest is not as much to find God’s will as it is to know God’s will, because we know God. In John 10 we are told by Jesus, “My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me”. I know God; He is my shepherd. Because He knows me and I know Him, I want to follow Him. I want to be in His will. I want to know Him better tomorrow than I do today. Meeting God and receiving Him as our Savior is just the first step on our faith journey. God, through Christ, in the power of the Holy Spirit, is my Lord, my Friend, my Shepherd, and my Everything. God’s will for my life is that I will become all that He wants me to be. As I practice his presence by being prayerful, thankful, aware, quiet, and in search of Him, our relationship and my faith grow. God longs for his children to desire Him more than we desire the answers to our questions and prayers. As we seek Him, we will know Him and know His will. Seek Him first and then other things which we are asking for will be added or given unto us as is promised in Matthew 6:33.
God wants to heal our spirits first. A closer walk and personal relationship with God comes first. It will then be followed by the answers to our prayers. Our answered prayer might be a physical healing, a financial healing, a relational healing, or the supply of a material need. When we know God and the scriptures, our prayers will line up with what we know is God’s will for us according to His Word. We will know right from wrong and be able to discern God’s direction for our lives when we grow spiritually. In Hebrews 5:13,14, God tells us to mature in our faith. We must start eating the meat of the word because we have only been on the milk or the basic teachings of the word. We must increase in the knowledge of God and His written word. As our faith grows and matures we will know God. We will know His direction and know His will for our lives.
When we walk, we go forward one step at a time. God will light our path. His word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path (Psalm 119:105). I don’t want to know my future, I just want to know God and have an internal peace about where He is leading me. Romans 12:2 says, “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know what God wants you to do and you will know how good and pleasing and perfect His will really is”.
God’s will for me is to love Him and to love others. My passion is my faith and my family. My purpose is to live for Christ and to share my faith by how I live. I want others to see the fruits of the gifts of the Spirit in my life (Galatians 5:22). My family is my legacy and it is my continual prayer that they seek, meet, know, and love the Lord as they walk their individual spiritual journeys. Our journeys aren’t always comfortable and God never promised that our roads would be easy. One thing that I know is that I will never walk my road alone because God will never leave me or forsake me (Hebrews 13:5,6 and Deuteronomy 31:8). My plan, as I move forward, is to follow God’s requirement for me as found in Micah 6:8. I am to do what is right, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with my God.
In Jeremiah 29:11-14, God tells me, “For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me in earnest, you will find me when you seek me. I will be found by you, says the Lord”. I believe in the promises of God and I know that He has my future in His hands.
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Jesus was Broken for Me
In my latest blogs I have been writing about being broken. The ultimate example of suffering and being broken is recorded in Isaiah 53, the twenty fourth book in the Old Testament. Read chapter 53. I am going to quote verses 3-5 from the King James Bible:
3 “He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief and we hid, as it were, our faces from Him; He was despised, and we esteemed Him not.
4 Surely He hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem Him stricken, smitten of God and afflicted.
5 But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon Him; and with His stripes we are healed.”
Christ, the Messiah, was BROKEN for my sins; He was bruised for our iniquities.
In the New Testament book of 2 Corinthians, verse 5:21, we are told that God made Jesus, the Christ who had no sin, to be sin for us, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God. In God’s plan for my redemption, which is seen throughout the Bible, God’s Grace is sufficient in the life of a believer. I am not righteous. I could never do enough good or be good enough to deserve God’s mercy and forgiveness. Only God’s grace, His unmerited favor, makes me worthy and righteous. The promised Messiah, Jesus, is the only sinless, righteous person. As a believer, God sees me through my redeemer, my filter, Christ. He was broken, suffered, and died, so that you and I might live.
3 “He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief and we hid, as it were, our faces from Him; He was despised, and we esteemed Him not.
4 Surely He hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem Him stricken, smitten of God and afflicted.
5 But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon Him; and with His stripes we are healed.”
Christ, the Messiah, was BROKEN for my sins; He was bruised for our iniquities.
In the New Testament book of 2 Corinthians, verse 5:21, we are told that God made Jesus, the Christ who had no sin, to be sin for us, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God. In God’s plan for my redemption, which is seen throughout the Bible, God’s Grace is sufficient in the life of a believer. I am not righteous. I could never do enough good or be good enough to deserve God’s mercy and forgiveness. Only God’s grace, His unmerited favor, makes me worthy and righteous. The promised Messiah, Jesus, is the only sinless, righteous person. As a believer, God sees me through my redeemer, my filter, Christ. He was broken, suffered, and died, so that you and I might live.
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Breaking and Blessing
As I look back on life, I realize that people who have experienced brokenness and loss in their lives are more open to recognize the many blessings of life. As an Oncology Nurse for sixteen years, I witnessed the many stages of sufferings and trials in the lives of others; physical, mental, and spiritual. I have seen the process cancer patients go through as they face diagnosis, treatment, years of survival, and end of life situations. When lives are interrupted and broken, such as in the lives of cancer patients, individual mortality is faced and life’s values are prioritized. Most individuals and families come to recognize the important things in life and the things which are no longer important. The trivial concerns previously worried about are not an issue any more. Loved ones and small blessings become main concerns. Mortality, eternity, purpose, ultimate destiny, and God are questioned. The breaking of life, as it was known, produces an awareness of the blessings of life.
Human nature tends to take so much for granted. The more aware we become of our inadequacies, weaknesses, and inability to control circumstances, the more we look outside of ourselves for life’s answers. Many people never search and just hold on to their own logic and presumed self importance and strength; but God has promised that if we look for Him, we will find Him (Matthew 7:7).
God is able to bless us abundantly when we receive Him and appreciate even the small humble blessings which we have been given (Ephesians 3: 20). An example of a Blessing in which God took a small portion and turned it into a large portion is found in the story of the loaves and fishes in Matthew 14: 13-21. The little boy’s fishes and loaves were not enough, but Jesus performed a miraculous blessing by multiplying the food into more than enough to feed five thousand of His followers. Jesus did this so that the people who did not believe, would see, believe, and then go to tell others. For the disciples and already believing followers, the miracle increased their faith. When we begin with a small amount and we truly believe for God to answer our prayers, His Blessings and answered prayer will increase our faith and cause those who are watching our witness to believe. Our need could be material or spiritual. When we pray, believing, He will supply our needs according to His riches in Glory in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4: 19).
Have you ever been broken? There are many ways to experience brokenness. A home can be broken. A heart can be broken. Hopes and dreams can be broken. When we face any loss in our lives, we feel broken. A loss can be that of a job, a relationship, finances, health, or the life of a loved one. No one escapes facing one or more of these situations in life’s journey. Read the books of Job and Ecclesiastes in the Old Testament. When one is going through a time of pain, trial, or suffering it seems as if no one understands or knows the same pain. King Solomon in Ecclesiastes states that “everything is meaningless” under the sun. Ecclesiastes 1: 3 and 4, says “What does man gain from all his labor at which he toils under the sun? Generations come and generations go, but the earth remains forever”. Verse 10 says, “What has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun”. The book of Ecclesiastes can be very depressing but it shows us the reality that others have been, or will be in the future, where we are in our pain. Misery wants to be understood. During my personal time of suffering I found out that only God truly knew the depth of my pain. He was walking with me and I would continue to walk with Him just like Job did. Now, thirty years since the death of two of my children, I realize that holding on to God and the promises in his Word have brought me into a faith which I would never have known if I hadn’t had to walk through my suffering and brokenness. God multiplies the blessings in our lives through the process of breaking.
God does permit times of brokenness in each of our lives. During these periods we must reflect on our present situation, make the choice to overcome our trial, hold on to God, and move forward physically and spiritually in life. I have a sincere appreciation for all of the blessings which God has given to Richard and me. I remained thankful during my times of loss and lack so that God could bless me with more than enough. I will continue to live with an attitude of gratitude. The Kingdom of God is NOW and I live in His presence. I live in expectation of that which He still has planned for my life as I travel my earthly journey and know that I will spend eternity with Him and my loved ones. 1 John 5: 13 gives me that assurance. I know God as my Father. I hope that if you don’t have a personal relationship with Him, my testimony and writings will introduce Him to you. I hope you check out some of the Bible books and passages which I have noted so you can see for yourself the things which God, through His Word, has taught me.
Human nature tends to take so much for granted. The more aware we become of our inadequacies, weaknesses, and inability to control circumstances, the more we look outside of ourselves for life’s answers. Many people never search and just hold on to their own logic and presumed self importance and strength; but God has promised that if we look for Him, we will find Him (Matthew 7:7).
God is able to bless us abundantly when we receive Him and appreciate even the small humble blessings which we have been given (Ephesians 3: 20). An example of a Blessing in which God took a small portion and turned it into a large portion is found in the story of the loaves and fishes in Matthew 14: 13-21. The little boy’s fishes and loaves were not enough, but Jesus performed a miraculous blessing by multiplying the food into more than enough to feed five thousand of His followers. Jesus did this so that the people who did not believe, would see, believe, and then go to tell others. For the disciples and already believing followers, the miracle increased their faith. When we begin with a small amount and we truly believe for God to answer our prayers, His Blessings and answered prayer will increase our faith and cause those who are watching our witness to believe. Our need could be material or spiritual. When we pray, believing, He will supply our needs according to His riches in Glory in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4: 19).
Have you ever been broken? There are many ways to experience brokenness. A home can be broken. A heart can be broken. Hopes and dreams can be broken. When we face any loss in our lives, we feel broken. A loss can be that of a job, a relationship, finances, health, or the life of a loved one. No one escapes facing one or more of these situations in life’s journey. Read the books of Job and Ecclesiastes in the Old Testament. When one is going through a time of pain, trial, or suffering it seems as if no one understands or knows the same pain. King Solomon in Ecclesiastes states that “everything is meaningless” under the sun. Ecclesiastes 1: 3 and 4, says “What does man gain from all his labor at which he toils under the sun? Generations come and generations go, but the earth remains forever”. Verse 10 says, “What has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun”. The book of Ecclesiastes can be very depressing but it shows us the reality that others have been, or will be in the future, where we are in our pain. Misery wants to be understood. During my personal time of suffering I found out that only God truly knew the depth of my pain. He was walking with me and I would continue to walk with Him just like Job did. Now, thirty years since the death of two of my children, I realize that holding on to God and the promises in his Word have brought me into a faith which I would never have known if I hadn’t had to walk through my suffering and brokenness. God multiplies the blessings in our lives through the process of breaking.
God does permit times of brokenness in each of our lives. During these periods we must reflect on our present situation, make the choice to overcome our trial, hold on to God, and move forward physically and spiritually in life. I have a sincere appreciation for all of the blessings which God has given to Richard and me. I remained thankful during my times of loss and lack so that God could bless me with more than enough. I will continue to live with an attitude of gratitude. The Kingdom of God is NOW and I live in His presence. I live in expectation of that which He still has planned for my life as I travel my earthly journey and know that I will spend eternity with Him and my loved ones. 1 John 5: 13 gives me that assurance. I know God as my Father. I hope that if you don’t have a personal relationship with Him, my testimony and writings will introduce Him to you. I hope you check out some of the Bible books and passages which I have noted so you can see for yourself the things which God, through His Word, has taught me.
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Broken
2012 has been a slow starting year for my blog, annasfaith.blogspot.com. I continue to feed my spirit but haven’t given enough time to writing, journaling, and reflecting.
At present I am tired and weary but I do know that when I am weak I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13). I am holding on to that promise.
We have been in the Florida Keys since January. Richard and I have been enjoying our little piece of paradise on Long Key in the Florida Keys. We have many friends here and keep busy with community and church fellowships and activities. We have had visitors from New York and Oklahoma.
We recently renovated our attached apartment and now it is ready to be used for guests. We love to share our tropical, peaceful, casual, and unhurried life here with our family and friends. Though barely used, the first thing that broke in the apartment was the heating element in the microwave. Then the flat screen television, purchased a little more than a year ago, decided to show ghost like images instead of a clear picture. At about the same time we noticed a flat front tire on our Jetta. It was caused by a leaking air valve and was easily repaired. All of these material things are fixable or replaceable. Then the worst break of all; my husband broke! On March 11th, Richie fell and broke the Tibia and Fibula in his right leg. After a late dinner, Richie went to walk our Black Lab, Molly. We had just experienced a heavy, but short, Florida down pour. His crocks were very worn and did not have any tread left. He fell at the foot of the staircase due to the combination of wet slippery pavement, Molly pulling on her leash, and inadequate shoe traction.
It has been a trial for both of us. Richie had to have a rod surgically placed into his right tibia and was in Homestead Hospital for five days. He developed pneumonia after the anesthesia and twice had to have Doppler studies to rule out a clot. He has been on a blood thinner and the sonograms were negative. He cannot weight bare for six weeks so is captive to a wheel chair and walker. He is slowly graduating to crutches. I remained at his side in the hospital because Homestead is almost two hours away from Long Key. I cat napped in a lounge chair each night. When he arrived home from the hospital, the Layton Paramedics had to carry him by ambulance chair up our flight of stairs. Initially he was in much pain and had an enormous amount of swelling. Each day we see improvement. Our doctor’s visits are in Homestead. The paramedics carry him down the steps and I drive him to Homestead in the Jetta. After the most recent trip to the doctor, Richie was able to get up the two steps into the downstairs apartment using crutches. This eliminates the need to call the paramedics to get him up and down the staircase for each appointment. He will start physical therapy this week. His next doctor’s visit is the day after Easter and then we plan to drive back to Pennsylvania a few days after that. Christa’s first baby is due at the end of April and we want to be there for her, Kris, and our new grand baby. I plan to do much of the driving and we will take as much time as is necessary for the thirteen hundred and fifty mile trip. Keep us in your thoughts and prayers.
We are trying not to focus on the obstacles which we are facing daily. We are taking one step at a time, one day at a time. We are envisioning the ultimate outcome of restoration and the healing of Richie’s right lower leg. Richie has been given wisdom and will not do anything to compromise the result. We are in prayer and are reading God’s healing scriptures and promises. He has slowed us down and He has our attention. God allows trials to enter our lives but we know that “when we are weak, He is strong” and “many are the afflictions of the righteous”. We are focusing on our Heavenly Father. As we learn to trust Him in our daily decisions, and experience his healing power, He grows and perfects our faith. The victory is ours, in Christ. Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen (Hebrews 11:1). We believe for complete healing of the bone even though we cannot see it now. But without faith it is impossible to please God, for he that cometh to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of them that diligently seek Him (Hebrews 11:6).
We pray that the Lord will touch Richie’s broken limb and our lives with His healing power and healing presence. We will continue to search for an increased depth to our faith as He heals what is broken in our spirits and in our bodies. Thank You Lord!!
At present I am tired and weary but I do know that when I am weak I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13). I am holding on to that promise.
We have been in the Florida Keys since January. Richard and I have been enjoying our little piece of paradise on Long Key in the Florida Keys. We have many friends here and keep busy with community and church fellowships and activities. We have had visitors from New York and Oklahoma.
We recently renovated our attached apartment and now it is ready to be used for guests. We love to share our tropical, peaceful, casual, and unhurried life here with our family and friends. Though barely used, the first thing that broke in the apartment was the heating element in the microwave. Then the flat screen television, purchased a little more than a year ago, decided to show ghost like images instead of a clear picture. At about the same time we noticed a flat front tire on our Jetta. It was caused by a leaking air valve and was easily repaired. All of these material things are fixable or replaceable. Then the worst break of all; my husband broke! On March 11th, Richie fell and broke the Tibia and Fibula in his right leg. After a late dinner, Richie went to walk our Black Lab, Molly. We had just experienced a heavy, but short, Florida down pour. His crocks were very worn and did not have any tread left. He fell at the foot of the staircase due to the combination of wet slippery pavement, Molly pulling on her leash, and inadequate shoe traction.
It has been a trial for both of us. Richie had to have a rod surgically placed into his right tibia and was in Homestead Hospital for five days. He developed pneumonia after the anesthesia and twice had to have Doppler studies to rule out a clot. He has been on a blood thinner and the sonograms were negative. He cannot weight bare for six weeks so is captive to a wheel chair and walker. He is slowly graduating to crutches. I remained at his side in the hospital because Homestead is almost two hours away from Long Key. I cat napped in a lounge chair each night. When he arrived home from the hospital, the Layton Paramedics had to carry him by ambulance chair up our flight of stairs. Initially he was in much pain and had an enormous amount of swelling. Each day we see improvement. Our doctor’s visits are in Homestead. The paramedics carry him down the steps and I drive him to Homestead in the Jetta. After the most recent trip to the doctor, Richie was able to get up the two steps into the downstairs apartment using crutches. This eliminates the need to call the paramedics to get him up and down the staircase for each appointment. He will start physical therapy this week. His next doctor’s visit is the day after Easter and then we plan to drive back to Pennsylvania a few days after that. Christa’s first baby is due at the end of April and we want to be there for her, Kris, and our new grand baby. I plan to do much of the driving and we will take as much time as is necessary for the thirteen hundred and fifty mile trip. Keep us in your thoughts and prayers.
We are trying not to focus on the obstacles which we are facing daily. We are taking one step at a time, one day at a time. We are envisioning the ultimate outcome of restoration and the healing of Richie’s right lower leg. Richie has been given wisdom and will not do anything to compromise the result. We are in prayer and are reading God’s healing scriptures and promises. He has slowed us down and He has our attention. God allows trials to enter our lives but we know that “when we are weak, He is strong” and “many are the afflictions of the righteous”. We are focusing on our Heavenly Father. As we learn to trust Him in our daily decisions, and experience his healing power, He grows and perfects our faith. The victory is ours, in Christ. Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen (Hebrews 11:1). We believe for complete healing of the bone even though we cannot see it now. But without faith it is impossible to please God, for he that cometh to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of them that diligently seek Him (Hebrews 11:6).
We pray that the Lord will touch Richie’s broken limb and our lives with His healing power and healing presence. We will continue to search for an increased depth to our faith as He heals what is broken in our spirits and in our bodies. Thank You Lord!!
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Questions Which I Ask Myself
I start each day with quiet time and my cup of coffee. I look forward to these moments alone while my husband and our pets are still sleeping. I do begin my thoughts by thanking God for the day and for His presence. He is never distant. He is always with me. I say, “Lord, I praise you and I glorify your Holy Name”. These are words which I lift up to Him throughout my day. “God inhabits the praise of His people” (Psalm 22:3). God wants us, his children, to talk to Him. He wants our spirits to hear His Spirit as He gives us answers to our questions and prayers. I listen to and hear His directions for my daily decisions because I know He is with me. I come to Him in faith, believing.
How has my faith grown?
My faith has grown from baby faith to mature faith because “my mind is stayed on Him” (Isaiah26:3). He promises to keep me in “perfect peace” because I trust Him.
How did I learn to trust Him?
I can always remember knowing that God was with me, but trusting Him and coming into a deep faith is a process. Believing is a choice. Trusting is a choice. Loving is a choice. As I think about loving the people in my life, I choose to believe in them and trust them. The love, belief, and trust come as we get to know each other more intimately. After years of marriage, a married couple knows how a spouse will react and we are even able to finish each other’s sentences. We don’t get to know someone if we don’t spend time with that person. God wants us to spend time with Him; an hour on Sunday mornings is not enough. The fact is, God is there even if an individual chooses not to believe and receive Him in their life. God never changes. Our lives change with our choices. Everyone searches for meaning in their life. We think that success, money, a mate, or a child etc. will bring us fulfillment and happiness. God promises that when we truly seek Him, He will fill that empty space and give us the peace we were striving for in all of the wrong places; a “peace that passeth understanding” (Philippians 4:7). It is a peace that transcends and surpasses all comprehension. In John 16:33 Jesus tells us, “I have said these things to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart, I have overcome the world.”
I learned to trust God more completely during and after the most difficult time in my life. Thirty years ago, I had no where to turn, and no one to turn to, but to God and His Word. I tried to make sense of the deaths of Elisa and Carrie. My pain was so very deep. God brought me to the book of Job. I realized that Job was God’s most beloved servant. Job lost everything including his children. Job refused to blame God and never lost his faith. I KNEW that God loved me also. I realized that the faith, in my loving and all knowing God, was all that I possessed. I couldn’t count on any thing or any body else. His love and His grace were sufficient. I would trust Him and would trust that He has a purpose for my life. Although short, He also had a purpose for Elisa and Carrie’s lives. Job in Job 13:15 said, “Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him”.
How did I grow up in my faith?
I wanted a closer walk with God. I needed to listen to others who had been walking with God and had experienced God’s love and grace through personal encounters. At the time, I was sitting under the teachings of a pastor who seemed only to give book reports, and very little biblical teaching. My faith was already beyond where he was in his walk with the Lord. I went back to church with my parents. The pastor was mature in age and experience, and had a sincere believing faith. He preached the scriptures. Under his teaching I became sure of the fact that God abided in me, and I abided in Him. I knew that I was like the traveler walking on the beach in “Footprints in the Sand”. God was carrying me during this time of pain and suffering. When this became clear in my spirit, I knew that I would never be that lonely again. I can’t imagine a life with out God, without His presence, without His direction, and without His purpose. I would never feel alone again.
How do I keep growing in my faith?
“Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God” (Romans 10:17). I am sure of what I believe. My statement of faith is that which is found in the Apostle’s Creed and the Nicene Creed. I believe that the Bible is the Inspired Word of God. I believe that God hears my prayers and that He speaks to my spirit in many ways. I hear Him when I read my Bible and when I hear His word taught in Church and Bible Study. I see Him in the lives of others and in His creation. I don’t try to understand His ways. It is by faith that I believe, not by logic. In Isaiah 55:8, 9 God tells us that “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways my ways, says the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts”. I have found out that the more I believe, the more I want to be obedient, and the more I am boldly obedient, the more I see God’s power in my life and in answered prayer. When I remember what He has already done in my life, my faith is increased to believe for what He will do for me and others in the future. I know that prayer without faith is powerless and that prayer with faith is powerful.
Why me?
Faith is an awesome gift. I never take for granted the gift of faith which I have been given. God grows my faith and keeps me in perfect peace as I am in the Word and keep my mind stayed on Him. This promise is found in Isaiah 26:3. My faith grows because I continually seek a closer walk with my Savior. Salvation is the result of what Christ did for me on the Cross of Calvary. Salvation has nothing to do with anything which I have done. Being good, or doing good works, did not save me. Ephesians 3: 8-10 tells me, as I quote it in the first person, “God saved me by his special favor when I believed. And I can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things I have done, so I cannot boast about it; for I am God’s masterpiece. He has created me anew in Christ Jesus, so that I can do the good things He planned for me long ago”.
I am going to post this blog now but I will continue to reflect on my faith and my continued questions in future blogs. As I keep seeking, I keep growing in my faith. As I step out in my faith and in my obedience to God, I trust Him more completely and He becomes more powerful in my life.
How has my faith grown?
My faith has grown from baby faith to mature faith because “my mind is stayed on Him” (Isaiah26:3). He promises to keep me in “perfect peace” because I trust Him.
How did I learn to trust Him?
I can always remember knowing that God was with me, but trusting Him and coming into a deep faith is a process. Believing is a choice. Trusting is a choice. Loving is a choice. As I think about loving the people in my life, I choose to believe in them and trust them. The love, belief, and trust come as we get to know each other more intimately. After years of marriage, a married couple knows how a spouse will react and we are even able to finish each other’s sentences. We don’t get to know someone if we don’t spend time with that person. God wants us to spend time with Him; an hour on Sunday mornings is not enough. The fact is, God is there even if an individual chooses not to believe and receive Him in their life. God never changes. Our lives change with our choices. Everyone searches for meaning in their life. We think that success, money, a mate, or a child etc. will bring us fulfillment and happiness. God promises that when we truly seek Him, He will fill that empty space and give us the peace we were striving for in all of the wrong places; a “peace that passeth understanding” (Philippians 4:7). It is a peace that transcends and surpasses all comprehension. In John 16:33 Jesus tells us, “I have said these things to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart, I have overcome the world.”
I learned to trust God more completely during and after the most difficult time in my life. Thirty years ago, I had no where to turn, and no one to turn to, but to God and His Word. I tried to make sense of the deaths of Elisa and Carrie. My pain was so very deep. God brought me to the book of Job. I realized that Job was God’s most beloved servant. Job lost everything including his children. Job refused to blame God and never lost his faith. I KNEW that God loved me also. I realized that the faith, in my loving and all knowing God, was all that I possessed. I couldn’t count on any thing or any body else. His love and His grace were sufficient. I would trust Him and would trust that He has a purpose for my life. Although short, He also had a purpose for Elisa and Carrie’s lives. Job in Job 13:15 said, “Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him”.
How did I grow up in my faith?
I wanted a closer walk with God. I needed to listen to others who had been walking with God and had experienced God’s love and grace through personal encounters. At the time, I was sitting under the teachings of a pastor who seemed only to give book reports, and very little biblical teaching. My faith was already beyond where he was in his walk with the Lord. I went back to church with my parents. The pastor was mature in age and experience, and had a sincere believing faith. He preached the scriptures. Under his teaching I became sure of the fact that God abided in me, and I abided in Him. I knew that I was like the traveler walking on the beach in “Footprints in the Sand”. God was carrying me during this time of pain and suffering. When this became clear in my spirit, I knew that I would never be that lonely again. I can’t imagine a life with out God, without His presence, without His direction, and without His purpose. I would never feel alone again.
How do I keep growing in my faith?
“Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God” (Romans 10:17). I am sure of what I believe. My statement of faith is that which is found in the Apostle’s Creed and the Nicene Creed. I believe that the Bible is the Inspired Word of God. I believe that God hears my prayers and that He speaks to my spirit in many ways. I hear Him when I read my Bible and when I hear His word taught in Church and Bible Study. I see Him in the lives of others and in His creation. I don’t try to understand His ways. It is by faith that I believe, not by logic. In Isaiah 55:8, 9 God tells us that “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways my ways, says the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts”. I have found out that the more I believe, the more I want to be obedient, and the more I am boldly obedient, the more I see God’s power in my life and in answered prayer. When I remember what He has already done in my life, my faith is increased to believe for what He will do for me and others in the future. I know that prayer without faith is powerless and that prayer with faith is powerful.
Why me?
Faith is an awesome gift. I never take for granted the gift of faith which I have been given. God grows my faith and keeps me in perfect peace as I am in the Word and keep my mind stayed on Him. This promise is found in Isaiah 26:3. My faith grows because I continually seek a closer walk with my Savior. Salvation is the result of what Christ did for me on the Cross of Calvary. Salvation has nothing to do with anything which I have done. Being good, or doing good works, did not save me. Ephesians 3: 8-10 tells me, as I quote it in the first person, “God saved me by his special favor when I believed. And I can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things I have done, so I cannot boast about it; for I am God’s masterpiece. He has created me anew in Christ Jesus, so that I can do the good things He planned for me long ago”.
I am going to post this blog now but I will continue to reflect on my faith and my continued questions in future blogs. As I keep seeking, I keep growing in my faith. As I step out in my faith and in my obedience to God, I trust Him more completely and He becomes more powerful in my life.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Loving God and My Neighbor
I was recently reunited with a friend from the past on Facebook. This morning I sat quietly thinking and talking to the Lord. I recalled memories from the past. Judy and I were young married women, each with two little daughters. We were both RN’s and connected by our Christian faith. We were introduced to each other by Mike, the owner of the laundry mat where we unfortunately had to spend a lot of time. Mike became our laundry mat angel and Judy and I became friends.
Prior to going to Mike’s laundry mat, Mike was a stranger. He took us under wing and was unconditionally kind and generous to both of us. It would be hard to explain the many ways in which he helped to make our lives and laundry chores easier. The weekly, or more often, trudge to wash clothes was not a task which I looked forward to but Mike’s welcoming face and helping hand made it doable. Young mothers of today can’t even imagine the fact that our laundry items included our baby’s cloth diapers.
Both Judy and I had been going to the laundry mat prior to the birth of our first babies, not know each other at the time. When Mike found out that we both were pregnant he wanted to help us by giving us some baby equipment. He ordered a playpen, a high chair, cloth diapers, and a diaper pail from Sears and had them delivered to our homes. It is hard for one to accept gifts and not want to give something back. It is hard not to question a motive behind kindness. For most of us it is easier to give than it is to accept a gift graciously and gratefully.
Mike’s generosity was with out motive! We did not know a whole lot about him. His sister and her family lived near, he spoke of a favorite niece, he was more than comfortable financially, and we knew that he had some medical problems. His life was his laundry mat business and he was on site most of the time. He was helpful to everyone but he was truly our angel. When our first daughters, Elisa and Sharon, were born he presented them each with a gold charm bracelet and he did the same two years later when Erica and Holly were born.
I can remember times when one of my babies was sick and I couldn’t get to the laundry mat. Mike would come to the house, pick up laundry, wash it, dry it, and return it to me. He never, ever, wanted anything in return. Sometimes, when we were waiting for our clothes to wash and dry, he would buy us pizza slices from the Italian restaurant next to the laundry mat. The laundry mat and restaurant were located in a little strip mall on Hempstead Avenue. It was about five minutes from Maple Street in West Hempstead where Richie and I lived in a little apartment over Aunt Carrie and Uncle Albert’s garage. When Richie and I on occasion tried to give Mike a thank you gift it seemed to make him very uncomfortable. He was giving to give, not to receive.
As I sat remembering Judy, Mike, and this time in my life, I couldn’t help to think about God’s unconditional love for each of us. It is hard for the human mind to comprehend the magnitude of that love. If it is difficult for me to accept unconditional kindness from someone who I can see, how well do I accept it from God who I cannot see? How do I show my love to others in the way I am instructed to? In Matthew 22:37-40 we are commanded to love God with all of our heart, soul, and mind and our neighbors as ourselves. In Luke 10 a religious leader asked Jesus, “Who is my neighbor?” Jesus answered by telling the familiar story of the Good Samaritan. The disciples answered the above question by agreeing that the good neighbor was the one traveler who showed mercy to the Jewish man who had been beaten and robbed. He showed love without wanting anything in return. In 1Timothy 1:5 Paul tells us that we, as Christians, are to be “filled with love that comes from a pure heart, a clear conscience, and a sincere faith”. God loves His children unconditionally. I question my ability to always love unconditionally and without motive. I want to feel God’s presence, study His word and His ways, and increase in my faith so I can strive to see “my neighbor” through the eyes of Christ.
Prior to going to Mike’s laundry mat, Mike was a stranger. He took us under wing and was unconditionally kind and generous to both of us. It would be hard to explain the many ways in which he helped to make our lives and laundry chores easier. The weekly, or more often, trudge to wash clothes was not a task which I looked forward to but Mike’s welcoming face and helping hand made it doable. Young mothers of today can’t even imagine the fact that our laundry items included our baby’s cloth diapers.
Both Judy and I had been going to the laundry mat prior to the birth of our first babies, not know each other at the time. When Mike found out that we both were pregnant he wanted to help us by giving us some baby equipment. He ordered a playpen, a high chair, cloth diapers, and a diaper pail from Sears and had them delivered to our homes. It is hard for one to accept gifts and not want to give something back. It is hard not to question a motive behind kindness. For most of us it is easier to give than it is to accept a gift graciously and gratefully.
Mike’s generosity was with out motive! We did not know a whole lot about him. His sister and her family lived near, he spoke of a favorite niece, he was more than comfortable financially, and we knew that he had some medical problems. His life was his laundry mat business and he was on site most of the time. He was helpful to everyone but he was truly our angel. When our first daughters, Elisa and Sharon, were born he presented them each with a gold charm bracelet and he did the same two years later when Erica and Holly were born.
I can remember times when one of my babies was sick and I couldn’t get to the laundry mat. Mike would come to the house, pick up laundry, wash it, dry it, and return it to me. He never, ever, wanted anything in return. Sometimes, when we were waiting for our clothes to wash and dry, he would buy us pizza slices from the Italian restaurant next to the laundry mat. The laundry mat and restaurant were located in a little strip mall on Hempstead Avenue. It was about five minutes from Maple Street in West Hempstead where Richie and I lived in a little apartment over Aunt Carrie and Uncle Albert’s garage. When Richie and I on occasion tried to give Mike a thank you gift it seemed to make him very uncomfortable. He was giving to give, not to receive.
As I sat remembering Judy, Mike, and this time in my life, I couldn’t help to think about God’s unconditional love for each of us. It is hard for the human mind to comprehend the magnitude of that love. If it is difficult for me to accept unconditional kindness from someone who I can see, how well do I accept it from God who I cannot see? How do I show my love to others in the way I am instructed to? In Matthew 22:37-40 we are commanded to love God with all of our heart, soul, and mind and our neighbors as ourselves. In Luke 10 a religious leader asked Jesus, “Who is my neighbor?” Jesus answered by telling the familiar story of the Good Samaritan. The disciples answered the above question by agreeing that the good neighbor was the one traveler who showed mercy to the Jewish man who had been beaten and robbed. He showed love without wanting anything in return. In 1Timothy 1:5 Paul tells us that we, as Christians, are to be “filled with love that comes from a pure heart, a clear conscience, and a sincere faith”. God loves His children unconditionally. I question my ability to always love unconditionally and without motive. I want to feel God’s presence, study His word and His ways, and increase in my faith so I can strive to see “my neighbor” through the eyes of Christ.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Risk and Reward
Does God have an assignment for me in 2012? How does He plan to use me? I do not want to be in the same spiritual place next year or in subsequent years than I am now. We all have goals, visions, and dreams. God has a more excellent way than I can even envision today. I have to be willing to step out and receive my dreams. When I pray for my future, and my plans line up with God’s will for my life, I will experience His blessings and provision. How do I know this you might ask? Am I being presumptive? It is because I have made God the Lord of my life and I believe the promises which He gives all of us in His word. He is who He says He is, and He does what He says He will do! I received His gift of faith so many years ago. I have matured in my faith. When one chooses not to believe, or not to mature in that little faith which has been given, one chooses to stay in the same place year after year. Not maturing in your faith limits every aspect of your life. God’s resources and power are released in my life as I stand out in faith. I remember what He has done before; in my own life, and in the lives of others.
Abraham had great faith. He believed God’s promises to him. He was told that his descendants would be more numerous than the stars in the sky and that he would be the father of many nations. In Genesis 22, Abraham’s obedience and faith were tested. In obedience to God he brought Isaac, his promised descendent, to the sacrificial alter. He said to those traveling with them, “Stay here…..The boy and I will travel a little farther. We will worship there, and then we will return”. He didn’t know how, but he had faith to believe that the boy would return with him. Abraham, in obedience, put Isaac on the altar but at the last minute was stopped by the Angel of the Lord who said, “Do not hurt the boy in any way, for now I know that you truly fear God. You have not withheld even your beloved son from me”. Would my faith have been that great? No, I don’t think so!
We do know that God gave His only beloved son for us on the Cross of Calvary (John3:16). His plan of redemption is seen throughout the scriptures, Genesis through Revelation. I think back and remember my time of trial and grief when Elisa and Carrie died over 30 years ago. I did not choose to give them back to God. On this side of eternity, I will never understand God’s plan. The one thing which I do know is that I would not have searched for God and for my life’s meaning in the earnest way which I have if He had not allowed me to go through this pain. Only those who have experienced similar times of suffering will understand what I am trying to say. Throughout the past 30 years, my faith has grown from baby faith to mature faith because I have continuously sought a deeper relationship with the Lord. As I seek, I find. As I take spiritual risks, I grow in my faith. As I study His word and am obedient, I experience the rewards of His blessings and favor in my life. I know where two of my treasures are; Elisa and Carrie are with the Lord in Heaven. When my physical journey on earth is over I will be with my Lord and my girls continuing my spiritual journey throughout eternity. I have come to this conclusion because of scripture promises which I have been given. 1John 2:1 7 says, “And this world is fading away, along with everything it craves. But if you do the will of God, you will live forever”. John, in 1John 4:13,14 writes, “I write this to you who believe in the Son of God, so that you MAY KNOW you have eternal life. And we can be confident that He will listen to us whenever we ask Him for anything in line with His will”.
Each of us is at a different stage in our spiritual journey; in our faith walk. I want to hear God when He tells me to move; not to stay in the same place. I get very comfortable where I am and hesitate to step out of my comfort zone. Growth takes faith and trust. Increased faith and trust come when I Read the Word of God, Absorb the Word of God, Trust the Word of God, and Obey the Word of God. I see evidence of God’s power, provision, and presence when I keep renewing my mind in Christ and in His Word.
We have to be willing to step out of the boat like Peter did when Christ said, “Come”. He believed that he could walk on the water and was willing to take the risk. He could walk on the water just as long as he believed he could (Matthew 14:22-34). I don’t want to miss what God has planned for me because I am afraid to take the risk. The greater the risk, the greater is the reward. The greater the faith, the greater is the victory. God will prove Himself. When we remember God’s past victories in our life and are faced again with a challenge requiring risk we will approach it with even greater faith. Little faith will keep growing into mountain moving faith.
Worry and fear are what prevent us from accomplishing that which God has planned for us. When we step out in faith we worry about what others will say. We need to know that we are to be concerned about God’s approval, not the approval of our peers, family, and friends. That can be very hard. The biggest risk we can take is not doing God’s word; not listening to His will, not trusting His requests, and not obeying His commands. We must not fear obstacles as we step out in faith. We must focus on our Heavenly Father and our vision, not the obstacles. We must live in the victory which we have in Christ by constantly being in prayer and in touch with God through The Holy Spirit who is within us. We are to pray without ceasing; to be in constant communion with God. Big prayer (Faith Filled Prayer) to a Big God (Our Mighty Father) results in Big victories (Powerful Answers and Miraculous Results).
I pray that when God opens up a door for me, I will have enough faith to walk through into the experience or adventure which He has planned. By worrying, or by being too afraid to step out of my comfort zone, I rob myself of the blessing and favor I will find on the other side of the door. Lord, empower me to take spiritual risks for you so that I will continue to grow my faith and reap your rewards.
Abraham had great faith. He believed God’s promises to him. He was told that his descendants would be more numerous than the stars in the sky and that he would be the father of many nations. In Genesis 22, Abraham’s obedience and faith were tested. In obedience to God he brought Isaac, his promised descendent, to the sacrificial alter. He said to those traveling with them, “Stay here…..The boy and I will travel a little farther. We will worship there, and then we will return”. He didn’t know how, but he had faith to believe that the boy would return with him. Abraham, in obedience, put Isaac on the altar but at the last minute was stopped by the Angel of the Lord who said, “Do not hurt the boy in any way, for now I know that you truly fear God. You have not withheld even your beloved son from me”. Would my faith have been that great? No, I don’t think so!
We do know that God gave His only beloved son for us on the Cross of Calvary (John3:16). His plan of redemption is seen throughout the scriptures, Genesis through Revelation. I think back and remember my time of trial and grief when Elisa and Carrie died over 30 years ago. I did not choose to give them back to God. On this side of eternity, I will never understand God’s plan. The one thing which I do know is that I would not have searched for God and for my life’s meaning in the earnest way which I have if He had not allowed me to go through this pain. Only those who have experienced similar times of suffering will understand what I am trying to say. Throughout the past 30 years, my faith has grown from baby faith to mature faith because I have continuously sought a deeper relationship with the Lord. As I seek, I find. As I take spiritual risks, I grow in my faith. As I study His word and am obedient, I experience the rewards of His blessings and favor in my life. I know where two of my treasures are; Elisa and Carrie are with the Lord in Heaven. When my physical journey on earth is over I will be with my Lord and my girls continuing my spiritual journey throughout eternity. I have come to this conclusion because of scripture promises which I have been given. 1John 2:1 7 says, “And this world is fading away, along with everything it craves. But if you do the will of God, you will live forever”. John, in 1John 4:13,14 writes, “I write this to you who believe in the Son of God, so that you MAY KNOW you have eternal life. And we can be confident that He will listen to us whenever we ask Him for anything in line with His will”.
Each of us is at a different stage in our spiritual journey; in our faith walk. I want to hear God when He tells me to move; not to stay in the same place. I get very comfortable where I am and hesitate to step out of my comfort zone. Growth takes faith and trust. Increased faith and trust come when I Read the Word of God, Absorb the Word of God, Trust the Word of God, and Obey the Word of God. I see evidence of God’s power, provision, and presence when I keep renewing my mind in Christ and in His Word.
We have to be willing to step out of the boat like Peter did when Christ said, “Come”. He believed that he could walk on the water and was willing to take the risk. He could walk on the water just as long as he believed he could (Matthew 14:22-34). I don’t want to miss what God has planned for me because I am afraid to take the risk. The greater the risk, the greater is the reward. The greater the faith, the greater is the victory. God will prove Himself. When we remember God’s past victories in our life and are faced again with a challenge requiring risk we will approach it with even greater faith. Little faith will keep growing into mountain moving faith.
Worry and fear are what prevent us from accomplishing that which God has planned for us. When we step out in faith we worry about what others will say. We need to know that we are to be concerned about God’s approval, not the approval of our peers, family, and friends. That can be very hard. The biggest risk we can take is not doing God’s word; not listening to His will, not trusting His requests, and not obeying His commands. We must not fear obstacles as we step out in faith. We must focus on our Heavenly Father and our vision, not the obstacles. We must live in the victory which we have in Christ by constantly being in prayer and in touch with God through The Holy Spirit who is within us. We are to pray without ceasing; to be in constant communion with God. Big prayer (Faith Filled Prayer) to a Big God (Our Mighty Father) results in Big victories (Powerful Answers and Miraculous Results).
I pray that when God opens up a door for me, I will have enough faith to walk through into the experience or adventure which He has planned. By worrying, or by being too afraid to step out of my comfort zone, I rob myself of the blessing and favor I will find on the other side of the door. Lord, empower me to take spiritual risks for you so that I will continue to grow my faith and reap your rewards.
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Christmas Memories
Recently, on Christian radio, I paid attention to the words being sung in a song. The words said, “A heartache is but a stepping stone on our journey, always reaching upward”. It would be nice if we could choose our own path and miss the heartache stones while only walking on the happy stones. The words went on to say, “The things of earth dim and loose their value. They are only borrowed for but awhile. This weary world with its toil and trouble are temporary. We carry on with joy, looking to eternity”.
As the years go by, the Christmas Holidays become a time of cumulative memories. The older we become, the more heartache memories are added to our thoughts of times past. It is wonderful to celebrate Christmas when there are children in the family. In general, but not always, youth is a time of joy. As a grandmother, I can see the excitement of Christmas through the eyes of my grandsons. Hopefully they will have only good memories for a long while.
I had a wonderful Christmas with my family but melancholy memories flooded my present experiences many times during the past few weeks. As I stood near my daughters in Church, I could see myself standing at my Mom’s side as she and I sang Christmas hymns together during Christmas services years ago; wonderful memories, yet making me sad as I recall them now. I am so grateful to be able to pass on my parent’s faith to the next two generations which stood with me at the 2011 Christmas Eve service. I love them all. I don’t think they realized how very much it meant to me to have my family together worshiping our Lord (or maybe they did!). For me, it was the highlight of a meaningful, happy weekend. For two thousand years the story of the birth of the promised Christ Child has been passed down from one generation to the next. It was Christmas again and I was passing on my faith to the next generations in my family. It is a permanent, forever message that I will celebrate every day in my life, not just on December 25th.
I have one of my mother’s hand-written, black and white marbled recipe books. I needed to look up her recipe for Jule Grot, a Norwegian Christmas rice pudding, which has been a traditional Christmas Eve dish in our family. I called my sister, Marlene, to get her expert advice because she took over making it when Mom was no longer with us. I had to learn how to make it because geographically, she is still on Long Island and I am now in Pennsylvania. Mom was in the habit of writing a note, as one would in a diary entry, about the success of the recipe in a given year. As Marlene and I reviewed the ingredients over the phone, I noted Mom’s entry for December 24, 1990. It said, “Marlene and Ken are going to pick me up and we are going to St. Luke Lutheran Church to hear Christa sing with the youth group. From Church we are all going to Ken and Marlene’s for Christmas Eve”. Mom’s entry brought tears to both of our eyes and I shared with Marlene about how I had been having a hard time this Christmas encountering memories. She admitted to having similar emotional times herself and related dealing with tears when she took out Ma’s round yellow pyrex bowl as she readied to make Krumkake (a Norwegian rolled cookie traditionally served at Christmas). She remembered Ma using this bowl to make these cookies throughout many happy Christmas’ past. We miss all those whom we have loved and are no longer with us to make and share memories. We look back and are grateful for their lives. We move forward each year with new family and friends, making new memories along the stepping stones of life.
I can remember similar emotions, years ago, when I was flooded with tears, even sobs.
Angela, Richie’s Mom, had taught me how to make Swedish Coffee Bread, a Christmas tradition in his family. For many years we made it together prior to the holidays. Angela died in April 1988. I had grieved her death but I don’t remember crying. In December, I got ready for the holidays gathering the ingredients for my coffee bread. As I prepared the cardamom, I pictured my mother-in-law sitting at my kitchen table counting out cardamom for each batch of bread. As the years passed and she could no longer do much of the total recipe I made sure that she was always with me, continuing to make it a joint endeavor. I looked over at the table where she would sit and I began grieving her death in a way I hadn’t done before. I will always remember that moment and the sobs which I experienced. Life is made up of moments and memories; times of heartaches and times of happiness. Each is a piece of our individual journey.
This year my family and I made new memories. We had a very wonderful Christmas Eve with my sister Jane and her family; in Pennsylvania. Jane, Ron, Richie, I, and our children and our grandchildren built good memories and continued traditions which we hope will be passed on through the years. I made Glog, Gravalax with dill mustard, Swedish Coffee Bread, and Jule Grot. We place a shaved almond in the rice pudding and the one who finds it in his or her dish gets the prize. The prize is usually a marzipan pig but this year it was a small box of Marzipan fruit. Middle Trevor, one of Jane and Ron’s six grand children was the winner. Our Trevor calls him middle Trevor because he is little Trevor and his dad is big Trevor. Laura and John’s son is middle Trevor. The young cousins had so much fun being together on Christmas Eve. They sang Christmas Carols with Uncle Bruce on his guitar. Jane read “The Night before Christmas” to the children while they gathered at her feet. In the middle of the group of children sat Jane’s new Christmas angel, Ben, a loving, gentle 15 month old St Bernard. It was a picture; it was a memory. Our Christa and Kris will be adding a new little cousin to the group before next Christmas. God is Good…..All The Time!!!
I will continue to pass on our Christmas traditions but most of all I will continue to pass on the faith that was passed on to me, and to each of us, from generation to generation. I pray daily for Richie, Marlene, Jane, Ken, Ron, Erica, Trevor, Christa, Kris, Trevor, Hunter, Christa’s Baby-to-be, my nieces and nephews and grand nieces and grand nephews. I will list them all by name: Doug, Mary, Kendel, Matt, Sean, Riley, Quintin, Dylan, Ryan, Amy, Bruce, Laura, John, Joyel, Sean, Caitlin, Allison, Trevor, Courtney, Mckenna, and Khloe. We miss all who have gone on from this world ahead of us and are grateful for their lives, their love, their memory, and all they passed on to us: our parents, our Elisa and Carrie, Heidi and others whom we loved and who touched our lives. We become a little part of everyone who crosses or walks on the path with us for any length of time. May my life reflect the life of my Savior as I continue to walk my journey and as I continue to love the family and friends placed in my life.
As the years go by, the Christmas Holidays become a time of cumulative memories. The older we become, the more heartache memories are added to our thoughts of times past. It is wonderful to celebrate Christmas when there are children in the family. In general, but not always, youth is a time of joy. As a grandmother, I can see the excitement of Christmas through the eyes of my grandsons. Hopefully they will have only good memories for a long while.
I had a wonderful Christmas with my family but melancholy memories flooded my present experiences many times during the past few weeks. As I stood near my daughters in Church, I could see myself standing at my Mom’s side as she and I sang Christmas hymns together during Christmas services years ago; wonderful memories, yet making me sad as I recall them now. I am so grateful to be able to pass on my parent’s faith to the next two generations which stood with me at the 2011 Christmas Eve service. I love them all. I don’t think they realized how very much it meant to me to have my family together worshiping our Lord (or maybe they did!). For me, it was the highlight of a meaningful, happy weekend. For two thousand years the story of the birth of the promised Christ Child has been passed down from one generation to the next. It was Christmas again and I was passing on my faith to the next generations in my family. It is a permanent, forever message that I will celebrate every day in my life, not just on December 25th.
I have one of my mother’s hand-written, black and white marbled recipe books. I needed to look up her recipe for Jule Grot, a Norwegian Christmas rice pudding, which has been a traditional Christmas Eve dish in our family. I called my sister, Marlene, to get her expert advice because she took over making it when Mom was no longer with us. I had to learn how to make it because geographically, she is still on Long Island and I am now in Pennsylvania. Mom was in the habit of writing a note, as one would in a diary entry, about the success of the recipe in a given year. As Marlene and I reviewed the ingredients over the phone, I noted Mom’s entry for December 24, 1990. It said, “Marlene and Ken are going to pick me up and we are going to St. Luke Lutheran Church to hear Christa sing with the youth group. From Church we are all going to Ken and Marlene’s for Christmas Eve”. Mom’s entry brought tears to both of our eyes and I shared with Marlene about how I had been having a hard time this Christmas encountering memories. She admitted to having similar emotional times herself and related dealing with tears when she took out Ma’s round yellow pyrex bowl as she readied to make Krumkake (a Norwegian rolled cookie traditionally served at Christmas). She remembered Ma using this bowl to make these cookies throughout many happy Christmas’ past. We miss all those whom we have loved and are no longer with us to make and share memories. We look back and are grateful for their lives. We move forward each year with new family and friends, making new memories along the stepping stones of life.
I can remember similar emotions, years ago, when I was flooded with tears, even sobs.
Angela, Richie’s Mom, had taught me how to make Swedish Coffee Bread, a Christmas tradition in his family. For many years we made it together prior to the holidays. Angela died in April 1988. I had grieved her death but I don’t remember crying. In December, I got ready for the holidays gathering the ingredients for my coffee bread. As I prepared the cardamom, I pictured my mother-in-law sitting at my kitchen table counting out cardamom for each batch of bread. As the years passed and she could no longer do much of the total recipe I made sure that she was always with me, continuing to make it a joint endeavor. I looked over at the table where she would sit and I began grieving her death in a way I hadn’t done before. I will always remember that moment and the sobs which I experienced. Life is made up of moments and memories; times of heartaches and times of happiness. Each is a piece of our individual journey.
This year my family and I made new memories. We had a very wonderful Christmas Eve with my sister Jane and her family; in Pennsylvania. Jane, Ron, Richie, I, and our children and our grandchildren built good memories and continued traditions which we hope will be passed on through the years. I made Glog, Gravalax with dill mustard, Swedish Coffee Bread, and Jule Grot. We place a shaved almond in the rice pudding and the one who finds it in his or her dish gets the prize. The prize is usually a marzipan pig but this year it was a small box of Marzipan fruit. Middle Trevor, one of Jane and Ron’s six grand children was the winner. Our Trevor calls him middle Trevor because he is little Trevor and his dad is big Trevor. Laura and John’s son is middle Trevor. The young cousins had so much fun being together on Christmas Eve. They sang Christmas Carols with Uncle Bruce on his guitar. Jane read “The Night before Christmas” to the children while they gathered at her feet. In the middle of the group of children sat Jane’s new Christmas angel, Ben, a loving, gentle 15 month old St Bernard. It was a picture; it was a memory. Our Christa and Kris will be adding a new little cousin to the group before next Christmas. God is Good…..All The Time!!!
I will continue to pass on our Christmas traditions but most of all I will continue to pass on the faith that was passed on to me, and to each of us, from generation to generation. I pray daily for Richie, Marlene, Jane, Ken, Ron, Erica, Trevor, Christa, Kris, Trevor, Hunter, Christa’s Baby-to-be, my nieces and nephews and grand nieces and grand nephews. I will list them all by name: Doug, Mary, Kendel, Matt, Sean, Riley, Quintin, Dylan, Ryan, Amy, Bruce, Laura, John, Joyel, Sean, Caitlin, Allison, Trevor, Courtney, Mckenna, and Khloe. We miss all who have gone on from this world ahead of us and are grateful for their lives, their love, their memory, and all they passed on to us: our parents, our Elisa and Carrie, Heidi and others whom we loved and who touched our lives. We become a little part of everyone who crosses or walks on the path with us for any length of time. May my life reflect the life of my Savior as I continue to walk my journey and as I continue to love the family and friends placed in my life.
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