An Untitled Blog

I am starting this blog without a title. Right now my mind is a clean canvass. It is 5pm and I have been thinking all day about the ideas and the words which God would have me to use to touch someone’s life, or maybe my own. With a sense of obedience, I have promised The Lord that I would write a blog entry every 5 days. Today is the 5th day and midnight is my deadline. This is a self imposed deadline because I know that God would give me an extension. I take this commitment very seriously and am sure that the needed words will come.

Late this afternoon I had phone calls from both of my sisters. In different contexts we talked about hope. So I will start there. Jane is newly retired and will not be going back to a classroom and the little minds to be molded as she has done for years. With this major change in her life will come a sense of loss. I can identify with her as I had similar feelings when I retired from Nursing. Our professions become a part of who we are and what our purpose in life is. We cannot replace these parts of us but we can move on to new hopes, dreams, and purposes. It will be a process. We cannot let ourselves become stuck in grieving a loss or in the memories of what was.

Taking care of my family is now and always has been a very important purpose in my life. As the years fly by, I am so much more aware of how short life is. I don’t know when I will cross over into eternity but I want my life to be prepared for that day. I will be there for a much longer period of time than I am here. I truly believe that we are all spiritual beings on a physical journey. We all worry so much about what we will eat or drink or do today. God reminds me in Matthew 10:31 that I am worth much more than a sparrow. If He takes care of a sparrow, how much more will He take care of me!, and you! In my retirement, I have more time and an increased desire to feed my spirit and come into a closer walk with God. In Matthew 6:33 He instructs me to seek His kingdom first then everything else that I need, or even desire, will be added unto me. I am daily reminded of His blessings and favor in my life. The more I learn, the more I trust, and the more obedient I become, the bolder I grow in The Lord and in my faith. My hope is to live in Eternity with my Savior and those who I love. I cannot take any physical thing with me but I can share my faith and allow The Holy Spirit to convict the hearts of everyone I love so that we can be together always. I want to be bold, yet humble. I am so sure of what I believe but never want to come across as being arrogant. My authority is in The Word and in Christ.

At the end of this physical life the only part of our being which dies is the body. Our mind, intellect, and spirit live on. I believe that as we have purpose in this life, God will use us and all we have been taught now for a particular purpose in eternity. I want to be used by Him in this lifetime and throughout my life to come. I lift up a prayer of Thanksgiving; “Thank you Jesus for giving me the gift of faith. May what I am given and I am taught always be used to your glory”.

My sister Marlene and I spoke about her friend Ann who was just put on Home Hospice. Her hope has now changed from cure to comfort. As an oncology nurse, I have seen many patients’ hopes change with time as their disease progressed and their treatment was altered. I walked with my friend Heidi through a similar journey. I wrote about Heidi’s physical trial and faith journey in previous postings. Doctors, in each of their patient’s lives, have to carefully balance their conversations. They want to be truthful and realistic but not take away all hope from their patient. Only God has the time table on anyone’s life. Heidi always hoped and prayed for her physical healing. She wanted her testimony to be a witness for God in the lives of others going through similar trials. This was not to be, but she did write about her journey. Her testimony, her love, and her friendship will live on in each of us, who loved her, until we meet again. God grew her faith throughout her battle as she searched for meaning and for Him. Her hope changed from physical to spiritual. This should be the goal for each of us.


Oncology patients become very special people. Their diagnosis causes each one to face their own mortality. Each person seems more able to prioritize their life as they contemplate its physical end. God, others, and life itself are what is important. No longer are things and the trivia one use to worry about important. I believe that this is why Oncology Nurses gain a unique perspective on life itself. As we care for and become part of our patient’s journeys we become more compassionate and less able to personally have patience with trivia and unjustified complaining. We also prioritize our own lives. I didn’t choose to be an oncology nurse. It is where God placed me and grew me. I am grateful for all He has taught me through my own suffering and through the lives of others. Because I am not afraid to die, I am not afraid to live. I live in the hope of the Gospel, God’s Word, and God’s promises for today and I live with the hope of Eternity for tomorrow.