The Baggage of Unforgiveness

The dictionary tells me that unforgiveness is not a word. Well, I am going to use it anyway. The meaning is self-evident. It is the inability to leave behind something in one’s past. It is the need to harbor the memory of a hurt or many hurts, thinking that holding on to or not letting go of the remembrances will somehow get even with the individual who harmed or is harming us. This comes naturally as a protective mechanism. How can one move on from the wounds and the feelings that upset our entire being?

Each of us is made up of a mind, a body, and a spirit component. When one part of us is out of balance it affects all aspects of our life. When our mind and emotions are stuck in the past, our physical body and spirit are also ill at ease. They experience dis-ease. This gives our body and our immune system an opening to diseases of the body and of the mind; illness and depression.

God speaks to us in His word about wholeness. The Bible will guide us, direct us, and show us how to live. God gave us His Son, Jesus, as an example of the perfect, sinless life. We cannot attain perfection but we should try to live as God would want us to live. He will give us the balance, strength, wisdom, and power to know truth and to be able to trust and obey. His Grace is sufficient (2Corinthians 12:9). When we are weak, He is our strength.

When we are unable to forgive, it is our own body, mind, and spirit that suffer. The thoughts and feelings of anger, hurt, bitterness, and vengeance do not harm anyone else. When these emotions are deep-seeded, it is hard, almost impossible, for us humanly to forgive. But, nothing is impossible with God. Ask anything in his name and it shall be done. God can, supernaturally, do for us that which we cannot accomplish on our own.
The first step that we must take is to recognize that we are harboring unforgiveness. We must realize that we have been unable to forgive our self or someone else. We make a choice to forgive or choose to stay stuck where we presently are. When we seek to forgive, so we can move on, God will hear our plea. He will make forgiveness possible.

We have control over our own decision but we cannot change another individual or the facts of the past circumstances. Forgiveness takes away the power and control that another person has over our life. Unforgiveness affects how we react in and to other relationships and experiences in our daily lives. The act of forgiveness doesn’t justify or minimize the hurt or even excuse it; it just helps us to let go of it. We must realize that it is not about the other person, it is about our self and our choice to keep the wound or let it go. God will help us through the process of putting it behind us.

We recognize the need to forgive, we choose to forgive, we give the process to God, and we then experience freedom from the bondage of our unforgiving spirit. When we are free in Christ, we are free indeed! In that freedom, we experience the ability to receive all that God has planned for us. The Holy Spirit is now able to fill our spirit with His gifts, unhindered by the barrier of an unforgiving heart. Love, compassion, and empathy can now flow from Him through us. We can now experience healing and the gifts of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control (Galatians 5:22,23).

God wants us to be whole and He wants us to be healed. In Mark 2:5, The word says, “Seeing their faith, Jesus said to the paralyzed man, ‘My son, your sins are forgiven’ ”. Forgiveness is equated with healing. His sins were forgiven and his body was healed. In faith, he and his friends came to Jesus believing that he would be healed. His faith made him whole.

James 5:16 says “Confess your offenses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The insistent prayer of a righteous person is powerfully effective”.

God instructs us to forgive in Matthew 6:14-15. He says, “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you don’t forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses”.

Ephesians 4:32 says, “And be kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you”.

Proverbs 20:22 says, “Do not say, ‘I’ll pay you back for this wrong’, wait for the Lord and He will deliver you”.

I would encourage you to continue studying forgiveness by reading the many other passages of scripture which teach us about forgiveness. Look in your concordance or search the Internet for a list of Biblical passages on forgiveness. God will direct you to the ones that will speak to your heart and free you from the baggage of unforgiveness. He has promised us that when we seek we shall find.

When we choose to forgive, God will enable us to forgive and be healed.

Love is a Gift of The Spirit

Love is the first fruit of the Spirit which is listed in Galatians 5:22. When the Holy Spirit controls our life, a special kind of unconditional love is produced within us. One is able to care for and react to others as God has commanded us to do.

In Matthew 22:36-40, the Pharisees asked Jesus: “Teacher, which is the most important commandment in the Law of Moses?” Jesus replied, “You must love The Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: Love your neighbor as yourself. All of the other commandments and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.” We must love God, others, and ourselves. Because God loved us first, we are shown how to love. The expression of love within us becomes witness to others of the Holy Spirit in our lives. This ability to feel and express love, compassion, and empathy in an unconditional way is not a worldly trait. God’s gift of love in our lives enables us to feel and see ourselves and others as God sees us; in a spiritual or supernatural way. Loving ourselves is important because how would we be able to love others if we don’t love and respect ourselves. Unforgiveness is a hindrance to unconditional love. God will help us to forgive others and ourselves when we bring our needs and shortcomings to Him. He will do for us that which we are unable to do for ourselves.

I can think of many times in my nursing career when I was able to react compassionately in love while taking care of some very unlovely or difficult individuals. God gave me the ability to see past their outward rude or offensive history, behaviors, or actions. I was given the gift of love so that I could react to them as I knew Christ would have done. I would begin each day in prayer asking the Lord to make me His vessel in the lives of those who would cross my path throughout my course of duty. When a patient recognized and would gratefully comment or compliment me, I would point upward and say, “It’s not me, it is Him in me”. This was the truth and I am so grateful for the gift of faith and the gifts of the Spirit which I have been given.

Light and Salt

I have pledged to join Charles Stanley and other Christians in intercessory pray for America daily.

In week 1 we read Psalm 51 asking God for wisdom and personal forgiveness as we prepared our hearts for the 140 days of prayer.

In week 2 we read Psalm 77: 7-15 confirming God’s Holiness and showing His might and power in our lives and among the nations. I know that with Him, all things are possible and that He honors the fervent prayers of the righteous. There is power in prayer and great power in the collective prayers of many believers. I consider it a privilege to have been born in America where I have freedom to worship and pray. I will stand up for this right. Our Judeo-Christian heritage has made and will keep our country strong and free when each of us remains strong and committed to God’s laws and principles. We cannot let those who believe otherwise continue to slowly try to take away our freedoms; personally and as a nation.

This is week 3. I just read Matthew 5: 13-16. We must recognize our responsibility to be salt and light in what ever situation we find ourselves. We can’t afford to hide our lights under a bushel. We must sprinkle the truths which we know, the saltiness of our faith, into the lives of our loved ones, our friends, and into our nation. When we honor God, He will honor us; He will honor America. We cannot be responsible for others but we can start with individual accountability. Can you imagine the strength in our numbers if we all started right where we are. There is no perfect person other than our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, The Messiah. When we believe in Him, God sees us through His righteousness and we become righteous. We must stand tall in God’s promises! Trust and obey. The Holy Spirit helps us to live as God would want us to live.

The Beatitudes in Matthew 5, given by Jesus in The Sermon on The Mount, shows us how God wants us to live and treat each other. They instruct us in The New Testament as God through Moses gave us The 10 Commandments in The Old Testament.
Jesus in His Sermon on The Mount laid out a standard by which all Christians should live, a call for moral and ethical living that cannot be met in our own power. This power is given to us by the Holy Spirit who dwells in us. Galatians 5:17,18 tells us that “The old sinful nature loves to do evil, which is just opposite from what The Holy Spirit wants. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, and your choices are never free from this conflict. But when you are directed by The Holy Spirit, you are no longer subject to the law”. Galatians 22 says, “But when The Holy Spirit controls our lives, He will produce this kind of fruit in us: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Here there is no conflict with the law”.
How God wants us to react as related in The Beatitudes is exactly opposite from the reactions according to the world’s standards. When the Holy Spirit controls our lives and gives us His gifts as listed in Galatians 22, we can understand Jesus’ instructions in The Beatitudes:

Blessed are the poor in spirit..... they will inherit the Kingdom of God
Blessed are those who mourn........... they will be comforted
Blessed are the meek.................. they will inherit the earth
Blessed are those who thirst for righteousness......they will be filled
Blessed are the merciful.............. they will be shown mercy
Blessed are the pure in heart..........they will see God
Blessed are the peacemakers............they will be called sons of God
Blessed are those who are persecuted...theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven

John 10:10 tells us that Jesus gives us the abundant life. As seen in the Beatitudes, this abundant life is according to God’s standards, not the world’s standards. As we stand firm in our beliefs we cannot worry about what non-believers say about us as long as we are pleasing God. He is our ultimate rewarder. Our character is the sum total of our words, thoughts, and actions. I pray for wisdom, power, and strength to keep the Lord’s light shinning through me and the salt of His word working in me. I will daily pray for America and for God’s power in our lives and in our land.

ENOUGH

Again, thank you Angela for the meaningful emails which I receive from you. The following, titled enough, is just what each of us should be asking God for. He DOES supply all of our needs according to His riches in glory. It will remind us not to take anything that we have been given for granted. When we have too much we don’t appreciate that which we have. When we lack the necessities of life, life becomes difficult. God will meet our needs so that we do not become too lonely, too tired, too hungry, too poor, or too needy. He will never leave us nor forsake us when we believe in Him and in His promises. There is power in prayer, peace in His presence, and provision in His promises. As a believer, I have the faith to know that He will give me what I need, when I need it, and provide just the necessary amount at the time of my need… ENOUGH!

The following is a copy of the email which I received. It is worth sharing:
“Recently, I overheard a mother and daughter in their last moments together at the airport.. They had announced the departure. Standing near the security gate, they hugged, and the mother said, 'I love you, and I pray you enough.'

The daughter replied, 'Mom, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I pray you enough, too, Mom.'

They kissed, and the daughter left. The mother walked over to the window where I was seated. Standing there, I could see she wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on her privacy, but she welcomed me in by asking, 'Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?'

Yes, I have,' I replied. 'Forgive me for asking, but why is this, a forever good-bye?'

'Well...I'm not as young as I once was; she lives so far away & has her own busy life. I have some challenges ahead, and the reality is - her next trip back will be for my funeral,' she said.

'When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, 'I pray you enough.' May I ask what that means?'

She began to smile. 'That's a prayer that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone.' She paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail, and she smiled even more. 'When we said, 'I pray you enough,' we wanted the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them.'

Then, turning toward me, she shared the following as if she were reciting it from memory:

I pray you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray the day may appear..
I pray you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more.
I pray you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.
I pray you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.
I pray you enough gain to satisfy you’re wanting.
I pray you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I pray you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.

Then, she began to cry, and walked away.”

It is said, “It takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but an entire life to forget them.”

I pray for each of us that we will have an awareness of special people, special moments, and special memories. I do not know who wrote the original words in this piece but I thank her for putting it down in writing to be passed on and shared. As we pray for and Bless others, we can carry on the tradition in our own lives by telling those we meet and those we love that we pray them ENOUGH.

As I read the above, I had my own memory of the time spent with my own mother during her last few weeks. Every night when I would leave her, lying so frail, in her hospital bed, I would say, “Ma, I will see you in the morning”. I did not know if I would see her again on this side of eternity, but if not, I did know that I would see her in the morning on the other side of eternity. This life is so fragile and temporary. I cannot imagine not having the hope of The Resurrection, the hope of living with my Lord and my loved ones throughout eternity. Another reassuring memory which I have been given is the memory of a vision which was related to me by Christa, my youngest daughter. A friend, Terry, sang “How Great Thou Art” at my Mom’s funeral service. As Christa listened to the hymn with her eyes closed, she could see her grandmother, my Mom, standing with the two sisters who she never met. Elisa was at Mom’s side with Baby Carrie in her arms. I knew that my girls were alright and so was my Mother. My parents suffered greatly after the deaths of our children and I knew that their reunion now would bring peace to them and give me a sense of comfort.

Thank you Lord for your peace and comfort and for always giving me just what I need.

God is Good!

In my quiet time this morning I was thinking about the day and all that I was thankful for, specifically at this moment in time.

Richard and I and our 8 year old Black Lab Molly had a safe trip from PA, arriving in The Florida Keys yesterday. We bought our home here 20 years ago and we love The Keys. It is “July Hot” all along the East coast but the temperature is lower in the Keys than it has been in Orefield. I always marvel at the beautiful clear blue sky and billowy white clouds here. The sky was humid, heavy, and grey until we reached Florida. It sure is hot and it took awhile for the air conditioner to cool down the house. It has reached comfort level and Molly has stopped panting. Last night before going to bed we stood out on our deck which juts out over the canal at the rear of our home. The sky was so very black and the multitude of stars shine here like no other place on earth. The Keys are in the middle of the ocean without light pollution. Peering out into that sky makes us so aware of God’s marvelous creation and of how tiny, in the realm of life and eternity, each of us really is.

How can mighty God know what I need or even hear my prayers. This is where faith enters the picture. We cannot humanly understand the enormity of the connection between the natural and the supernatural. I do not feel the need to understand it, I choose to believe. I have chosen to believe what God has told to me and what he has promised to me in His Word. As I read John 3:16 and Matthew 6, Jesus’ sermon on the mount, I know that God loves me (I am one of the whosoever He is talking about) and that the hairs on my head are numbered and he cares about a falling sparrow or the clothing color of a lily in the field.

Today, another thing on my mind is the safe arrival home of my daughter, Christa, from a wonderful Australian business trip. She is back in Pennsylvania with her husband Kris. I hope they can have a quiet weekend to recover and relax. Kris hasn’t had much relaxation lately. He has been on a push studying for the Law Bar Exams which he will be taking at the end of this month. Kris, I am praying Philippians 4:13 for you. The Lord will help you remember all that you have learned and studied. You have been faithful over your present responsibilities. God, in His word, has promised that when we are faithful over little, He will make us faithful over much. Richie and I are so proud of you and happy for you and Christa.

Yesterday was my first grandson’s birthday. Trevor Richard was born on July 9, 2003. He will be starting first grade in the fall. His best friend, Jack, came to help celebrate the day and have a sleep over last night. They have been friends since birth and are so protective of each other. They have a friendship that will last a life time. Most of us only have a few very special and close friends in our lifetimes. I am glad that Trevor and Jack have developed such a friendship so early in life. My youngest grandson, Hunter Ryan, wants to be like the big boys but Erica was going to try (I say try!) to get him to bed early. Trevor’s main birthday gift was a basket ball and basketball net. Daddy Trevor set up the surprise for him. Richie and I are going to start providing piano lessons for him. I guess this will be a start to fulfill my dream for one of my grandson’s to be able to play the piano. My Elisa was a natural on the piano and Erica has our piano from Long Island at her home. He can practice there or on our piano. We bought the Kriner’s piano when we bought their Orefield home. I plan to refresh the little bit I know and hope to learn along with Trevor. It’s a plan! We shall see! Erica, Trevor, Trevor, and Hunter give us such happiness and we miss them when we are away from them. Erica will be going back to teaching in the fall at Swain School in Allentown. The children will be enrolled in the same school and we anticipate a wonderful education for them.

Thank you Lord for my family. Thank you Lord for guiding us and keeping us safe. Thank you for the plans you have for our lives. May each of us know you in a special way and grow in our faith daily. Circumstances may change but my happiness and joy are internal. I abide in You and You abide in me.

Peace Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi

We are all looking for peace in our lives. I pray for peace for myself, my family, my friends, and my loved ones. I also pray for God’s power and peace in America as we celebrate the Fourth of July, our country’s birthday. Let us all be an instrument of God’s peace; personally and collectively.

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace;
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy;
Grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled, as to console;
to be understood, as to understand,
to be loved, as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.