The book, “Have a Little Faith” by Mitch Albom was a wonderful Christmas present given to me by my daughter, Christa. It is a true story relating pieces of the author’s life journey and how he was touched and affected by the stories of two very different friendships.
The first of these two unique men in Mitch Albom’s life was Albert Lewis, an elderly Rabbi from His hometown in New Jersey. He was white, Jewish, and well to do; the only religious leader in Mitch’s life. The second man in the story was Henry Covington, Christian, African-American, and impoverished. He lived near Mitch’s current home in Michigan. He is a Detroit pastor and a reformed drug dealer and convict; who now preaches to the poor and homeless in a decaying church with a hole in its roof.
Although the lives and histories of the two men are so very different, the author comes to realize a striking unity between their two worlds and beliefs.
As written on the sleeve of the book jacket, “Have a Little Faith is a book about a life’s purpose; about losing belief and finding it again; about the divine spark inside us all. It is one man’s journey, but it is everyone’s story”.
We are all traveling a road. Each of us is on a journey. There is a purpose to each of our lives. I do take the time to reflect upon where I have been, where I am, and where I am going. We must be still and know who God is in our lives. Because I DO know who God is, I DO know who I am, and I DO know how He wants me to treat others. God teaches me through His word. How can we grow in Him and learn how He wants us to live if we don’t hear his word. “Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God”
(Romans 10:17).
I would also like to mention another Mitch Albom book which is very worth reading. It is “The Five People You Meet in Heaven”. It shows how we touch or are touched by every one we meet in this, our earthly journey. As we so often say, “It is such a small world”. In this book, five people in heaven find out how their earthly life affected the life of another and they did not even realize it at the time. God weaves the circumstances of our lives and uses us in each others lives. Our good deeds or words of kindness to some one can encourage them and change the direction of their life. The opposite is also true, so try to lift others up, not knock them down. We must do good and give to others, not to be rewarded or complimented, but to do what is right. Do good and forget it! The scriptures say that if we receive our compensation now then we have already been rewarded. When we do good in secret or are not rewarded now, our reward will be eternal. God sees our motives and knows our hearts.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Spiritual Birth
In John 3, Jesus spoke to a member of the Jewish ruling council, a Pharisee named Nicodemus. In John 3:6 Jesus told him, “Flesh gives birth to flesh (the first birth of each of us), but the Spirit gives birth to spirit (the believer’s second birth). When an individual believes and receives God’s gift of faith and His Spirit enters into our spirit we experience the second birth as Jesus explained to Nicodemus in John 3.
I do believe John 3:16 which says, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life”.
I do believe and have received The Lord Jesus as my Savior. I believe God’s word and know that I have been born again. I will not perish, but have everlasting life. Someday, my physical body will die but my spirit will go to meet my Savior and my loved ones who have gone on ahead of me. In First John 5:13 it is written, “I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may KNOW that you have eternal life. I received, I believe, I know. The gift of faith is real and God’s promises are true.
In my January 18, 2010 posting I wrote about each of us being made up of three parts; mind, body, and spirit. At the end of life, the only part of us that dies is our physical body. Spiritual life continues after physical death. I believe that we all are spiritual beings on a physical journey. God uses our physical journey to teach and mature our spirits. Scripture says, “now is the day of salvation” and “choose today who you will serve”. Our path to eternity and God’s blessings and favor in our lives begin now with our decision to receive and believe. His Spirit abides in us and our spirit abides in Him. We are one in the Spirit, our spirit experiences a new spiritual birth.
In thinking back over my life, I cannot state the specific date and time of my new birth. I can recall times when my own spirit decreased as God’s Spirit within me increased. He keeps filling my Spirit with His Spirit as I study His word and live my life for Him. I live in anticipation of what He will do next in my journey.
I do know of others who have had dramatic, life changing born again experiences. Whether gradual or instantaneous, we are never the same. God opens our spiritual eyes. We are different and see life differently. We “GET IT” and live in a new dimension. We cannot go back, we must move forward. Sometimes we stall, and then something happens to get us back into the Word so our spirits can grow and move forward again. After an encounter with God, we want to share what God has done in our lives with others. My Blog is one way I can tell others about the insight and faith which God has given me. I pray that God will use my writings to give encouragement to someone. The world is not on your shoulders. God knows what you are going through. He will walk with you if you let Him. Seek and you will find. Be still and know that He is God.
I do believe John 3:16 which says, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life”.
I do believe and have received The Lord Jesus as my Savior. I believe God’s word and know that I have been born again. I will not perish, but have everlasting life. Someday, my physical body will die but my spirit will go to meet my Savior and my loved ones who have gone on ahead of me. In First John 5:13 it is written, “I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may KNOW that you have eternal life. I received, I believe, I know. The gift of faith is real and God’s promises are true.
In my January 18, 2010 posting I wrote about each of us being made up of three parts; mind, body, and spirit. At the end of life, the only part of us that dies is our physical body. Spiritual life continues after physical death. I believe that we all are spiritual beings on a physical journey. God uses our physical journey to teach and mature our spirits. Scripture says, “now is the day of salvation” and “choose today who you will serve”. Our path to eternity and God’s blessings and favor in our lives begin now with our decision to receive and believe. His Spirit abides in us and our spirit abides in Him. We are one in the Spirit, our spirit experiences a new spiritual birth.
In thinking back over my life, I cannot state the specific date and time of my new birth. I can recall times when my own spirit decreased as God’s Spirit within me increased. He keeps filling my Spirit with His Spirit as I study His word and live my life for Him. I live in anticipation of what He will do next in my journey.
I do know of others who have had dramatic, life changing born again experiences. Whether gradual or instantaneous, we are never the same. God opens our spiritual eyes. We are different and see life differently. We “GET IT” and live in a new dimension. We cannot go back, we must move forward. Sometimes we stall, and then something happens to get us back into the Word so our spirits can grow and move forward again. After an encounter with God, we want to share what God has done in our lives with others. My Blog is one way I can tell others about the insight and faith which God has given me. I pray that God will use my writings to give encouragement to someone. The world is not on your shoulders. God knows what you are going through. He will walk with you if you let Him. Seek and you will find. Be still and know that He is God.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Sowing and Reaping
Everything we have is from God. We cannot out give God.
The Word, and everything we have been given are God’s seeds in our lives. We are the farmers. We sow what we have been given into the soil, into the field which is the world and the lives of others. God is the provider. He provides the ready field, the sun, the rain, and the conditions needed to multiply and grow His seeds.
If we sow sparingly, we will reap sparingly. If we only plant or give away a few seeds, we will reap little. We cannot harvest what we do not plant.
When we are generous and plant abundantly, we will experience abundance.
God doesn’t need our finances. He does look at what we do with all that He has given us. Are we selfish and self serving? Do we sow back into God’s Kingdom? Is having money our goal? Is it our idol? What are our priorities? What we do with what we have been given proves or disproves our faith and faithfulness to God. Our checkbook is a good indicator of where we spend our money. Is giving to God’s Kingdom one of our priorities? If it is, He will reward us with His Blessings and Favor.
God wants us to prosper in our mind, body, and spirit. In Malachi 3:8-10, God tells us that we have cheated Him of the tithes and offerings due to Him. He challenges us to prove Him by sowing into the Kingdom. “Bring all the tithes into the storehouse so there will be enough food in my Temple. If you do,” says The Lord Almighty, “I will open the windows of Heaven for you. I will pour out a blessing so great you won’t have enough room to take it in! Try it. Let me prove it to you. Your crops will be abundant, for I will guard them from insects and disease.” This is the only scripture where God asks us to test Him and His promise. I have found His promise to be true and I thank Him for His Word, instruction, blessings, and favor in my life.
In Matthew 6:33, God tells us to seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness and everything else will be given to us. When we pray, we should pray first for God to give us Spiritual insight and meaning. He is working all things for good in our lives (Romans 8:28). When we are praying this way, He will give us spiritual wisdom. He will guide us to make the right decisions and then He will supply our material needs. He will align His will with ours. Our prayers will not be selfish. He knows our needs before we even pray for them. When we are seeking to be in God’s will, we probably are, because if we weren’t we wouldn’t have been searching in the first place. God knows our hearts and our motives.
Lord, hear my prayer, keep my motives pure, help me to be obedient. Help me to give back to your kingdom. Lord, use what I have learned, so far, in my faith journey to touch the lives of others for you. My blog is one way in which I can be a farmer and sow your seeds and the gifts which I have been given back into your Kingdom. To God be the Glory in all I do and say. In my life Lord, be glorified! Amen
The Word, and everything we have been given are God’s seeds in our lives. We are the farmers. We sow what we have been given into the soil, into the field which is the world and the lives of others. God is the provider. He provides the ready field, the sun, the rain, and the conditions needed to multiply and grow His seeds.
If we sow sparingly, we will reap sparingly. If we only plant or give away a few seeds, we will reap little. We cannot harvest what we do not plant.
When we are generous and plant abundantly, we will experience abundance.
God doesn’t need our finances. He does look at what we do with all that He has given us. Are we selfish and self serving? Do we sow back into God’s Kingdom? Is having money our goal? Is it our idol? What are our priorities? What we do with what we have been given proves or disproves our faith and faithfulness to God. Our checkbook is a good indicator of where we spend our money. Is giving to God’s Kingdom one of our priorities? If it is, He will reward us with His Blessings and Favor.
God wants us to prosper in our mind, body, and spirit. In Malachi 3:8-10, God tells us that we have cheated Him of the tithes and offerings due to Him. He challenges us to prove Him by sowing into the Kingdom. “Bring all the tithes into the storehouse so there will be enough food in my Temple. If you do,” says The Lord Almighty, “I will open the windows of Heaven for you. I will pour out a blessing so great you won’t have enough room to take it in! Try it. Let me prove it to you. Your crops will be abundant, for I will guard them from insects and disease.” This is the only scripture where God asks us to test Him and His promise. I have found His promise to be true and I thank Him for His Word, instruction, blessings, and favor in my life.
In Matthew 6:33, God tells us to seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness and everything else will be given to us. When we pray, we should pray first for God to give us Spiritual insight and meaning. He is working all things for good in our lives (Romans 8:28). When we are praying this way, He will give us spiritual wisdom. He will guide us to make the right decisions and then He will supply our material needs. He will align His will with ours. Our prayers will not be selfish. He knows our needs before we even pray for them. When we are seeking to be in God’s will, we probably are, because if we weren’t we wouldn’t have been searching in the first place. God knows our hearts and our motives.
Lord, hear my prayer, keep my motives pure, help me to be obedient. Help me to give back to your kingdom. Lord, use what I have learned, so far, in my faith journey to touch the lives of others for you. My blog is one way in which I can be a farmer and sow your seeds and the gifts which I have been given back into your Kingdom. To God be the Glory in all I do and say. In my life Lord, be glorified! Amen
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Thank You for Today
In my quiet time this morning, I prayed:
Lord, Thank you for today
Lead me and show me your way
Instruct me and tell me what to say
In your will is where I want to stay
In Luke 10:22 Jesus said, “All things have been committed to me by the Father. No one knows who the Son is except the Father, and no one knows who the Father is except the Son and those to whom the Son chooses to reveal Him”.
I thank you Lord, for revealing yourself to me. Because I sought you, you found me, and you revealed Your Spirit to mine.
In Luke 10:27 Jesus said, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind”; and “Love your neighbor as yourself”.
I say, “I do love you Lord and with your help I do love others”. Your unconditional love to me enables me to love my neighbor, even when he or she is unlovable. I know how to love because you loved me first. Your love is a supernatural love, a forgiving love. Continue to teach me how to love the way in which you would want me to love.
Thank you, Lord.
Nothing is going to happen to me today, that You and I together can’t handle!!
Thank you for your promises and guidance this day. Amen
Lord, Thank you for today
Lead me and show me your way
Instruct me and tell me what to say
In your will is where I want to stay
In Luke 10:22 Jesus said, “All things have been committed to me by the Father. No one knows who the Son is except the Father, and no one knows who the Father is except the Son and those to whom the Son chooses to reveal Him”.
I thank you Lord, for revealing yourself to me. Because I sought you, you found me, and you revealed Your Spirit to mine.
In Luke 10:27 Jesus said, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind”; and “Love your neighbor as yourself”.
I say, “I do love you Lord and with your help I do love others”. Your unconditional love to me enables me to love my neighbor, even when he or she is unlovable. I know how to love because you loved me first. Your love is a supernatural love, a forgiving love. Continue to teach me how to love the way in which you would want me to love.
Thank you, Lord.
Nothing is going to happen to me today, that You and I together can’t handle!!
Thank you for your promises and guidance this day. Amen
Monday, February 15, 2010
Truth, Faith, The Church, and Grace defined
Truth is not just an idea
It is a person. It is Jesus.
Faith is not just a noun
It is a verb. It is a call to act and live differently.
The Church is not just a structure
It is a family of believers
(not everyone who sits in a pew is a believer).
Grace is God’s
Riches
At
Christ’s
Expense
Jesus, I believe that you are The Way, The Truth, and The Life.
I want to be obedient and use the Faith which you have given to me in the lives of others.
I want to worship with other believers. I am a member of your family, the family of believers throughout the world. We are one in You. We are your Church, Lord.
I don’t only want to be a spiritual consumer; I want to be a spiritual producer. I want to use and pass on what I have received from You.
I want Your Grace to be evident in my life and actions.
True spirituality is more a journey than a destination.
It is a person. It is Jesus.
Faith is not just a noun
It is a verb. It is a call to act and live differently.
The Church is not just a structure
It is a family of believers
(not everyone who sits in a pew is a believer).
Grace is God’s
Riches
At
Christ’s
Expense
Jesus, I believe that you are The Way, The Truth, and The Life.
I want to be obedient and use the Faith which you have given to me in the lives of others.
I want to worship with other believers. I am a member of your family, the family of believers throughout the world. We are one in You. We are your Church, Lord.
I don’t only want to be a spiritual consumer; I want to be a spiritual producer. I want to use and pass on what I have received from You.
I want Your Grace to be evident in my life and actions.
True spirituality is more a journey than a destination.
Friday, February 12, 2010
Heidi's Faithwalk
Heidi’s Faithwalk written and shared with others in 2008
Adelheid B. Demmelhuber
January 16, 1943 to February 14, 2009
The following is an account of my friend Heidi’s faithwalk and spiritual growth. Her self reflection and writing was done within the year prior to her passing from this life into eternity. During her five year physical battle, God brought Heidi into a deeper spiritual walk. He gave her a greater understanding of Himself and His word, a Spiritual healing. Her battle with cancer had ended. Her spirit was ready to meet The Lord.
I want to share her story because I also grew in my faith as I journeyed with her. Also, on this first anniversary of her death, I want to keep her faith alive in the lives of all who loved her. To pass on her faith was the reason she wrote her testimony. God will continue to use her faith and life in our lives and in the lives of all who read her Faithwalk.
Heidi fought hard and maintained a positive attitude throughout her diagnosis and treatment. She grew in her faith and spoke to God constantly. She believed for a physical healing and worried about her husband Frank and her many cats, all of whom were dependent upon her. She had purpose and reason to fight.
In February 2009, Heidi was admitted to Huntington Hospital because of pain, abdominal swelling, and shortness of breath. Heidi was my dear and special friend and my spiritual and prayer confidant. During the week of February 1st, I flew into New York from Florida to be with her and to help with her care, as her friend and as an Oncology Nurse.
I returned to Heidi’s hospital room early on Sunday morning, February 8, 2009. She had a nursing assistant with her during the night. She hadn’t slept much and was starting to experience, again, the symptoms which had caused her hospitalization. After she told me how she was feeling, we quietly and pensively contemplated the gravity of her situation. She trusted my honest evaluation of where she was and what lay ahead. She broke the silence saying, “Anna, I can’t fight anymore. I have made peace with God and I am ready to be with Him. Please help Frank to understand this. He has to give me permission to leave. He is not going to want to let me go. I can’t do this any more. Promise me that you will tell Frank, and my mother, and my sister that I love them.”
We both knew that the time for this decision had come. At that moment, Heidi gave herself permission to die, to let go of her physical body, and to let her spirit be with her Savior. She had a personal relationship, a friendship, with her Lord and now she would be going home to be with Him.
My Faithwalk by Heidi (written in 2008)
As I think back about my faith over the years; I attended church on Sundays and I prayed daily. I prayed a general prayer which I thought covered it all. I prayed for my family and myself and I thanked God for the good things in life. I prayed for Him to teach me to be kinder toward others and to be less fault finding. I recognized my own short comings but those of others seemed always to be worse than mine. I will continue to work on this but I have to learn to let God help me. I know that God is good. I was contented and happy to be where I was in life.
In September 2004, total disaster struck. I was diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer. It is a deadly cancer that shows no symptoms until late stages when the survival rates are grim. I never asked Why me, God? But I did ask Why, God? Had I done something evil to deserve punishment? I could not even think clearly. I was in shock. All hope for my future plans were gone. My two neighbors, within a year of each other, had died from the same cancer. I knew that I would be number three.
Suddenly I was facing death NOW, not in the future when I was old as I had anticipated would happen. Only those who have heard the diagnosis of cancer can understand the fear that griped me. If this was God’s will I was not ready to accept it. What will happen to those I would leave behind? What would Frank do? Who would take care of my cats? These thoughts were almost worse than accepting my not surviving. I prayed to and begged God to hear my prayer for healing. I clung to Psalm 91 in which God promised that “He would shield me and be with me in my time of trouble. He would satisfy me with long life”. I searched my bible for healing scriptures which I could believe in and stand on. God spoke to me through His word. The Bible (the living word of God) became the resource for my search for answers and my search for a deeper walk with Him.
As a child, I was brought up to think that God was a punishing God. I had to be good and I had to please Him all the time in order for Him to be good to me. I know now that this is a religious works mentality, not a faith relationship with a living, loving God. I was brought up to be afraid of God, not to love Him. I have a very dear friend, Anna, who went through terrible tribulation. She taught me that God is our friend; a thought that I would never have dared to think.
About fourteen days after my diagnosis I was sitting in my room. I asked myself, and maybe God, “How will I die?”. I was overwhelmed with terror. For the first time in my life I asked The Holy Spirit to pray for me. I simply said, “Holy Spirit, pray for me because I have no more words to beg God with”. I had never understood the scripture which told me, “The Holy Spirit intercedes for us with groaning”. After lifting up that prayer, I read Psalm 66 and God spoke to my heart. After reading verses 16-20 God’s Spirit spoke to my spirit giving me the knowledge that He heard my prayer. He told me that He would not withdraw His unfailing love from me. I was sure that this meant that He was going to heal me. I had experienced God’s presence. The paralyzing fear which I had felt was gone and replaced by a sense of peace. I still had many dark days, fears, and tears, but never the overwhelming terror which I had experienced that day in my room. I knew, because I knew, because I knew, that God was with me and that I was going to be healed. I claimed God’s promise. My peace and my faith increased.
I went through chemo, an operation, more chemo, and then two timed blood tests indicated that the cancer was gone. I told myself, “God is good. He kept His promise to me.” I prayed Psalm 116. God heard me and I knew that He was with me. I am forever grateful. I felt well and continued to follow my medical plan. After a period of time, a third blood test, tumor marker, was done. It showed that the cancer was back. I was devastated. For two days, I could not pray! I kept saying over and over again, “but you promised me, you promised me”. I was angry with God. I said to Frank, “Maybe there is no God. Maybe it is just an illusion and we are praying to thin air”. He was just as disappointed as I was. But he remained firm in his faith and in his belief for my healing. Where was I to go? Am I in charge of my own destiny? Am I alone in my pain and agony? Was I not created by a creator who was with me? Those thoughts frightened me and made me even more lonely and confused. I could not imagine not having the comfort of a loving God to walk this road with me. I started talking to Him again. God, through the scriptures, became my comfort and my refuge. In Mark 11:24, Jesus said that if we pray, asking for something, believe that we already have received it and our Heavenly Father will give us what we ask for. In Mark 11:25 Jesus told me that when I prayed, I was to forgive others the wrongs they had done to me so that my Heavenly Father could forgive me my wrongs. As I read Jesus’ promises, I clung to them. I believed that Jesus lived, died, and arose from the dead. I was not physically there to witness these events but I believed that they happened. Why shouldn’t I believe in the promises which He gave to me in His Word? I continued to read and believe His promises. He told me to seek first His kingdom, and everything else I needed would be given to me (Matthew 6:33). My spirit was growing. God was my Lord and my friend. His Spirit within me was teaching me and giving me peace. I felt His presence and I was giving Him more and more control of my life.
Anna said, “God works in your spirit and He aligns your will with His”. I told the Lord, “I know that you created the sun, the moon, the universe, and each of us”. My unspoken thought was, but Lord I have stage 4 cancer, what can you do about that? God knew my thoughts and He gave me an answer as I read Proverbs 3:4. He said, “Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not unto your own understanding, seek His will in all that you do and He will direct your paths”. It was like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. I did not know how He was going to heal me, I just knew that He was in control. As I continued to seek Him, He would direct my path, give me wisdom to make the right choices, and heal me in His time and in His way. I am learning that when God allows affliction to come into our lives He draws us into a deeper walk with Himself. It is very hard for us to see His path through the fears and tears of the present. God had given me the gift of faith, so many years ago. Now He was maturing that faith through my time of trial and testing. We find God in our darkest hours, not when life is good and comfortable.
Romans 8:28 says that all things work for good to those who love the Lord and are the called according to His purpose. One good thing that has happened is that Frank and I started praying together. We are both Christians, but have worshiped in different denominations our entire married lives. I am Lutheran, Frank is Catholic. Denominations divide us but Christ and our faith in Him unite us. We are both faith filled believers. We prayed together and we knew that when two or more are gathered together in Christ’s name there shall He be also (Matthew 18:20). He was with us and He heard our prayers.
The Bible had become God’s living Word in my life. Psalm 86 reminded me that the Lord helps me and comforts me. 2Corinthians 1:1-5 tells me that when I am comforted in my trials, I will be able to help others who will go through even greater trials. As I mature in my faith, I want God to use me to pass on what He has taught me to others. This is why I have written my testimony. I still pray for physical healing but I also pray that God will use my testimony and my life to His glory.
Thank you Lord.
Love, Heidi
Adelheid B. Demmelhuber
January 16, 1943 to February 14, 2009
The following is an account of my friend Heidi’s faithwalk and spiritual growth. Her self reflection and writing was done within the year prior to her passing from this life into eternity. During her five year physical battle, God brought Heidi into a deeper spiritual walk. He gave her a greater understanding of Himself and His word, a Spiritual healing. Her battle with cancer had ended. Her spirit was ready to meet The Lord.
I want to share her story because I also grew in my faith as I journeyed with her. Also, on this first anniversary of her death, I want to keep her faith alive in the lives of all who loved her. To pass on her faith was the reason she wrote her testimony. God will continue to use her faith and life in our lives and in the lives of all who read her Faithwalk.
Heidi fought hard and maintained a positive attitude throughout her diagnosis and treatment. She grew in her faith and spoke to God constantly. She believed for a physical healing and worried about her husband Frank and her many cats, all of whom were dependent upon her. She had purpose and reason to fight.
In February 2009, Heidi was admitted to Huntington Hospital because of pain, abdominal swelling, and shortness of breath. Heidi was my dear and special friend and my spiritual and prayer confidant. During the week of February 1st, I flew into New York from Florida to be with her and to help with her care, as her friend and as an Oncology Nurse.
I returned to Heidi’s hospital room early on Sunday morning, February 8, 2009. She had a nursing assistant with her during the night. She hadn’t slept much and was starting to experience, again, the symptoms which had caused her hospitalization. After she told me how she was feeling, we quietly and pensively contemplated the gravity of her situation. She trusted my honest evaluation of where she was and what lay ahead. She broke the silence saying, “Anna, I can’t fight anymore. I have made peace with God and I am ready to be with Him. Please help Frank to understand this. He has to give me permission to leave. He is not going to want to let me go. I can’t do this any more. Promise me that you will tell Frank, and my mother, and my sister that I love them.”
We both knew that the time for this decision had come. At that moment, Heidi gave herself permission to die, to let go of her physical body, and to let her spirit be with her Savior. She had a personal relationship, a friendship, with her Lord and now she would be going home to be with Him.
My Faithwalk by Heidi (written in 2008)
As I think back about my faith over the years; I attended church on Sundays and I prayed daily. I prayed a general prayer which I thought covered it all. I prayed for my family and myself and I thanked God for the good things in life. I prayed for Him to teach me to be kinder toward others and to be less fault finding. I recognized my own short comings but those of others seemed always to be worse than mine. I will continue to work on this but I have to learn to let God help me. I know that God is good. I was contented and happy to be where I was in life.
In September 2004, total disaster struck. I was diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer. It is a deadly cancer that shows no symptoms until late stages when the survival rates are grim. I never asked Why me, God? But I did ask Why, God? Had I done something evil to deserve punishment? I could not even think clearly. I was in shock. All hope for my future plans were gone. My two neighbors, within a year of each other, had died from the same cancer. I knew that I would be number three.
Suddenly I was facing death NOW, not in the future when I was old as I had anticipated would happen. Only those who have heard the diagnosis of cancer can understand the fear that griped me. If this was God’s will I was not ready to accept it. What will happen to those I would leave behind? What would Frank do? Who would take care of my cats? These thoughts were almost worse than accepting my not surviving. I prayed to and begged God to hear my prayer for healing. I clung to Psalm 91 in which God promised that “He would shield me and be with me in my time of trouble. He would satisfy me with long life”. I searched my bible for healing scriptures which I could believe in and stand on. God spoke to me through His word. The Bible (the living word of God) became the resource for my search for answers and my search for a deeper walk with Him.
As a child, I was brought up to think that God was a punishing God. I had to be good and I had to please Him all the time in order for Him to be good to me. I know now that this is a religious works mentality, not a faith relationship with a living, loving God. I was brought up to be afraid of God, not to love Him. I have a very dear friend, Anna, who went through terrible tribulation. She taught me that God is our friend; a thought that I would never have dared to think.
About fourteen days after my diagnosis I was sitting in my room. I asked myself, and maybe God, “How will I die?”. I was overwhelmed with terror. For the first time in my life I asked The Holy Spirit to pray for me. I simply said, “Holy Spirit, pray for me because I have no more words to beg God with”. I had never understood the scripture which told me, “The Holy Spirit intercedes for us with groaning”. After lifting up that prayer, I read Psalm 66 and God spoke to my heart. After reading verses 16-20 God’s Spirit spoke to my spirit giving me the knowledge that He heard my prayer. He told me that He would not withdraw His unfailing love from me. I was sure that this meant that He was going to heal me. I had experienced God’s presence. The paralyzing fear which I had felt was gone and replaced by a sense of peace. I still had many dark days, fears, and tears, but never the overwhelming terror which I had experienced that day in my room. I knew, because I knew, because I knew, that God was with me and that I was going to be healed. I claimed God’s promise. My peace and my faith increased.
I went through chemo, an operation, more chemo, and then two timed blood tests indicated that the cancer was gone. I told myself, “God is good. He kept His promise to me.” I prayed Psalm 116. God heard me and I knew that He was with me. I am forever grateful. I felt well and continued to follow my medical plan. After a period of time, a third blood test, tumor marker, was done. It showed that the cancer was back. I was devastated. For two days, I could not pray! I kept saying over and over again, “but you promised me, you promised me”. I was angry with God. I said to Frank, “Maybe there is no God. Maybe it is just an illusion and we are praying to thin air”. He was just as disappointed as I was. But he remained firm in his faith and in his belief for my healing. Where was I to go? Am I in charge of my own destiny? Am I alone in my pain and agony? Was I not created by a creator who was with me? Those thoughts frightened me and made me even more lonely and confused. I could not imagine not having the comfort of a loving God to walk this road with me. I started talking to Him again. God, through the scriptures, became my comfort and my refuge. In Mark 11:24, Jesus said that if we pray, asking for something, believe that we already have received it and our Heavenly Father will give us what we ask for. In Mark 11:25 Jesus told me that when I prayed, I was to forgive others the wrongs they had done to me so that my Heavenly Father could forgive me my wrongs. As I read Jesus’ promises, I clung to them. I believed that Jesus lived, died, and arose from the dead. I was not physically there to witness these events but I believed that they happened. Why shouldn’t I believe in the promises which He gave to me in His Word? I continued to read and believe His promises. He told me to seek first His kingdom, and everything else I needed would be given to me (Matthew 6:33). My spirit was growing. God was my Lord and my friend. His Spirit within me was teaching me and giving me peace. I felt His presence and I was giving Him more and more control of my life.
Anna said, “God works in your spirit and He aligns your will with His”. I told the Lord, “I know that you created the sun, the moon, the universe, and each of us”. My unspoken thought was, but Lord I have stage 4 cancer, what can you do about that? God knew my thoughts and He gave me an answer as I read Proverbs 3:4. He said, “Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not unto your own understanding, seek His will in all that you do and He will direct your paths”. It was like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. I did not know how He was going to heal me, I just knew that He was in control. As I continued to seek Him, He would direct my path, give me wisdom to make the right choices, and heal me in His time and in His way. I am learning that when God allows affliction to come into our lives He draws us into a deeper walk with Himself. It is very hard for us to see His path through the fears and tears of the present. God had given me the gift of faith, so many years ago. Now He was maturing that faith through my time of trial and testing. We find God in our darkest hours, not when life is good and comfortable.
Romans 8:28 says that all things work for good to those who love the Lord and are the called according to His purpose. One good thing that has happened is that Frank and I started praying together. We are both Christians, but have worshiped in different denominations our entire married lives. I am Lutheran, Frank is Catholic. Denominations divide us but Christ and our faith in Him unite us. We are both faith filled believers. We prayed together and we knew that when two or more are gathered together in Christ’s name there shall He be also (Matthew 18:20). He was with us and He heard our prayers.
The Bible had become God’s living Word in my life. Psalm 86 reminded me that the Lord helps me and comforts me. 2Corinthians 1:1-5 tells me that when I am comforted in my trials, I will be able to help others who will go through even greater trials. As I mature in my faith, I want God to use me to pass on what He has taught me to others. This is why I have written my testimony. I still pray for physical healing but I also pray that God will use my testimony and my life to His glory.
Thank you Lord.
Love, Heidi
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Love in Friendship and Family
February is the month of Love. Our love is recognized in the celebration of Valentine’s Day, a day in which we honor and remember those we have and do love.
One year ago in February, I flew from Florida to be with my dear and special friend Heidi who had been admitted to Huntington Hospital, L.I. New York.
Our friendship had grown and deepened over many years. We met in the early 1980’s at my mother-in-law, Angela’s home. Heidi was always there for me and I know that she felt the same about me. We could talk about so many things and could confide in each other. We were both on a Spiritual Journey and we could share and journey together. She was the one person who I could discuss my deepest Spiritual feelings with. The love of our Lord bonded us together. This bond extended itself to our husbands, Richard and Frank, and my girls, Erica and Christa.
Heidi and I were the same age. She was born in Germany. I was born in Brooklyn. As I have written, our paths met in Huntington almost 30 years ago. During the five years prior to meeting Heidi, life had handed Richard and I some very difficult and challenging life experiences. I shared these with Heidi and she shared with me her memories of lonely times after coming to America. God was her refuge when she was alone at night when Frank worked the night shift. God did speak to both of us and brought each of us comfort in those times of trials and suffering. Ours was a bond of confidence in each other and our God. Since Heidi’s death on Valentine’s Day 2009 there is a loving friendship void in my life but I know that she is with our Lord and is waiting for me and Frank and others whom she loved to be with her again. She is O.K. and we who are left behind will be O.K. too. The bond of love will never be broken.
One year ago in February, I flew from Florida to be with my dear and special friend Heidi who had been admitted to Huntington Hospital, L.I. New York.
Our friendship had grown and deepened over many years. We met in the early 1980’s at my mother-in-law, Angela’s home. Heidi was always there for me and I know that she felt the same about me. We could talk about so many things and could confide in each other. We were both on a Spiritual Journey and we could share and journey together. She was the one person who I could discuss my deepest Spiritual feelings with. The love of our Lord bonded us together. This bond extended itself to our husbands, Richard and Frank, and my girls, Erica and Christa.
Heidi and I were the same age. She was born in Germany. I was born in Brooklyn. As I have written, our paths met in Huntington almost 30 years ago. During the five years prior to meeting Heidi, life had handed Richard and I some very difficult and challenging life experiences. I shared these with Heidi and she shared with me her memories of lonely times after coming to America. God was her refuge when she was alone at night when Frank worked the night shift. God did speak to both of us and brought each of us comfort in those times of trials and suffering. Ours was a bond of confidence in each other and our God. Since Heidi’s death on Valentine’s Day 2009 there is a loving friendship void in my life but I know that she is with our Lord and is waiting for me and Frank and others whom she loved to be with her again. She is O.K. and we who are left behind will be O.K. too. The bond of love will never be broken.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
P.A.C.E.
P. I give PRAISE and thanksgiving for life and this day.
A. I ACCEPT and receive all that I have been given
by God’s grace.
C. I give The Lord CONTROL. I surrender everything in my life
to His control.
E. I will EXPECT a great day.
As a Christian others should see something different in us and about the way we live.
As Christians we should be:
Generous,
Humble,
Loving,
Forgiving,
And……Be living in anticipation of what God is going
to do next in our lives.
As I bless others and give of myself, I experience God’s blessings in my life and see His blessings and favor in the lives of my family.
I communicate with God through prayer constantly. He wants us to come to Him with the little and big things in our lives. I talk to Him when I am sad or joyful, at all times.
He gives me direction and guidance in many different ways. He uses His word. He uses others. He uses circumstances. He uses songs. He uses an internal sense of peace or uneasiness to give me direction in all of my decisions.
God promised us in His word, “Lo, I am with you always”.
He is always with me.
I live in anticipation of what He will be doing next in my life!
A. I ACCEPT and receive all that I have been given
by God’s grace.
C. I give The Lord CONTROL. I surrender everything in my life
to His control.
E. I will EXPECT a great day.
As a Christian others should see something different in us and about the way we live.
As Christians we should be:
Generous,
Humble,
Loving,
Forgiving,
And……Be living in anticipation of what God is going
to do next in our lives.
As I bless others and give of myself, I experience God’s blessings in my life and see His blessings and favor in the lives of my family.
I communicate with God through prayer constantly. He wants us to come to Him with the little and big things in our lives. I talk to Him when I am sad or joyful, at all times.
He gives me direction and guidance in many different ways. He uses His word. He uses others. He uses circumstances. He uses songs. He uses an internal sense of peace or uneasiness to give me direction in all of my decisions.
God promised us in His word, “Lo, I am with you always”.
He is always with me.
I live in anticipation of what He will be doing next in my life!
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
An Awesome Responsibility
To he whom much has been given, much is required.
The gift of faith is an awesome gift. With it comes an awesome responsibility.
“Lord, help me to be your light, salt, and yeast in the lives of others. Help others to see you in me. I do not want to disappoint you in any thing I say or do.”
I re-entered hospital nursing in 1991 after 22 years spent raising my family, helping my husband in his business and doing some private duty and home nursing. I love my profession as an oncology nurse and I loved my patients. A decade earlier, when I was going through the most difficult time in my life, God spoke to me through his word. As I read 2 Corinthians 1:4 He told me that I was going to be able to help others who’s suffering was going to be even greater than what I was experiencing at the time. I knew that these words and other passages in my bible, which He led me to read, were meant just for me. I don’t ever remember a time when I did not believe in God but He, through my suffering and His word, brought me into a new dimension in my faith. Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God as found in Romans 10:17. As I read God’s word my faith became stronger and He was able to shine through me.
A co-worker approached me one day. “What is different with you? Why are you always smiling? Don’t you get down or burnt out at times?” she said. I am not verbally preachy. I want to live my faith. I had to be honest in my answer. I told her “I love the Lord with all of my heart, mind, and soul”. She said that she understood where I was coming from because her husband had that same kind of faith. God was working in her life and I know that He used my witness to speak to her.
I take very seriously the faith and the responsibility which God has given to me. I constantly am aware that I am The Lord’s eyes, ears, tongue, hands, and feet while here in this world. To he whom much has been given, much is required.
The gift of faith is an awesome gift. With it comes an awesome responsibility.
“Lord, help me to be your light, salt, and yeast in the lives of others. Help others to see you in me. I do not want to disappoint you in any thing I say or do.”
I re-entered hospital nursing in 1991 after 22 years spent raising my family, helping my husband in his business and doing some private duty and home nursing. I love my profession as an oncology nurse and I loved my patients. A decade earlier, when I was going through the most difficult time in my life, God spoke to me through his word. As I read 2 Corinthians 1:4 He told me that I was going to be able to help others who’s suffering was going to be even greater than what I was experiencing at the time. I knew that these words and other passages in my bible, which He led me to read, were meant just for me. I don’t ever remember a time when I did not believe in God but He, through my suffering and His word, brought me into a new dimension in my faith. Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God as found in Romans 10:17. As I read God’s word my faith became stronger and He was able to shine through me.
A co-worker approached me one day. “What is different with you? Why are you always smiling? Don’t you get down or burnt out at times?” she said. I am not verbally preachy. I want to live my faith. I had to be honest in my answer. I told her “I love the Lord with all of my heart, mind, and soul”. She said that she understood where I was coming from because her husband had that same kind of faith. God was working in her life and I know that He used my witness to speak to her.
I take very seriously the faith and the responsibility which God has given to me. I constantly am aware that I am The Lord’s eyes, ears, tongue, hands, and feet while here in this world. To he whom much has been given, much is required.
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